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Yeah, this might be a bit off topic, but I’m interested in finding a real life GF for real life GF sex. The problem is, I don’t have a lot of experience in meeting women, and would love some suggestions on places to visit/hang out to meet nice (naughty!) ladies.

Currently I hang out at an excellent wine bar in SF called Hayes and Vine, and there’s usually quite a few nice ladies in there after the Symphony on Saturday (in addition to an excellent wine selection). Note: No professional ladies or funny business at all, it’s just a place I enjoy visiting that’s completely on the up-and-up.

In the past I’ve visited the ladies in TJ a few times at AB & CC, and had some simply FABULOUS sessions with some of the superstars from a couple years back (Vanessa at CC, Tanya AB, etc…) I just don’t think I can find that kind of action in SF, and really want something more. An actual relationship with a very attractive, intelligent woman instead of a pay by the hour relationship. God some of those women are incredible, and I love the times I’ve spent with them, but want something at least semi permenant.

I’m 31 years old, and I really don’t have a clue how to meet women. I’ve had a total of 3 girlfriends in my life, the 1st for one year (she was great), the 2nd I married and was with for 11 years (divorced when she was cheating on me, dead fish in bed anyway, not even GF sex), and the 3rd I just broke up with recently after 1.5 years (she was *INCREDIBLE* in bed, as good or better than the BEST in TJ, but about 50lbs overweight, otherwise almost perfect).

Me, I used to be 265lbs, dropped 83lbs down to 182 now, and have been working out heavily and am now in very decent shape. I’m quite decent looking, in good shape, I’ve got the car, the money, the house, the dotcom (still in business!) but have zero experience meeting women. :\

So, that’s the deal. I really would love to find some places that I could hang out and meet women, I really want to date around a bit this time and get more experience before settling down, but if I run into a beautiful woman in great shape, that’s intelligent and not terribly high-maintenance, I’d probably fall for her real quick. (Fat chance, huh?)

I’ve thought about trying table-for-six, but it just doesn’t seem like my cup of tea. I know this is a bit off topic, but could really use some help guys!

This web site is about the three letter word “SEX” not the four letter word “LOVE”.

So you need to ask yourself what you want? You might find the sex for a price or by finding a group such as swinging.

Love is like gold, it’s where you find it. Men visit places like aol.com etc to find women. It’s not too different then the local bar scene. I’d look into the swinger scene and start checking the web for resources on swinging. At least then you would be around women that enjoy sex or are into the scene. I think lots of men turn to paid GFE because it’s less hassles and cheaper then going the GF route. Sex is never free not even when it’s a girl friend or a wife. It’s all a mind game where people just use fancy labels to justify paying for sex. Exchange of anything for sex is all the same thing whether it marraige, dating, dinner and movie, sugar daddy, boyfriend etc. Hey if I put a roof over your head, say I love you, pay your bills, commit to a relationship or anything else and sex is a benefit then you have prostitution. To make things even more simple we all get paid when we work and I highly doubt any of us would work for free. Thus we are all whores, hookers, prostitutes who demand money for a service.

If you find a soulmate or person that you truely enjoy spending all your time with then consider yourself lucky. Sex is another issue and if that’s included in what you find then your even better off. Personally I feel a great relationship is based on freedom and trust not neediness and balls and chains. A better definition of this is the guilt of marriage, forcing a relationship by becoming pregnant, marrying only for money or to immigrate and the list goes on.

Can this be why so many men prefer to pay prostitutes upfront for one of the benefits of a relationship without the other hassles? You have to also consider variety as its benefits too. Sex is never free period, call it what you will but that is just not the case.

Lots of guys end up marrying a high school sweetheart and never get to experience much sex. After all how do you know what is good until you’ve tried GREAT sex? So men are better off spending many years doing the prostitution circut prior to settling down. This has many benefits as it no longer makes sex a reason to marry. It gives them experience and ability to really determine GOOD sex from average sex.

For example I thought great sex was in Nevada, till I discovered Mexico, then I dicovered Germany and Mexico did not come close to what German GFE sex was. Men need to be open to trying things as we just don’t know what is really GOOD GFE until we experience it.

Women should do the same as there are just too many women out there that have no experience and suck at sex in gerneral. Schools should be teaching oral techniques to high school girls rather then homemaking. Sex is not some dirty act that we need be ashamed of but a human function which why all of us are here today.

I recall most of the many girlfriends I’ve had over the years. They all felt that they were GOOD at sex but they really had nothing to compare themselves to. No buddy is an authority on this except yourself and you need to expose yourself to as much as possible to expand your concepts of what really is good. While one man might be a breast man and another an ass man we all desire different things. Some like it fast and some slow and with the many styles that exist finding what you like best can only happen if you are aware it exists.

This web site does not seem to cater to what your looking for unless you consider finding a GF who works in the business of prostitution. If your looking for GFE revolving around paid sex then your in the right place. If you just want to know where a bar is that has women that want sex for free then it’s limited.

Damn if you didn’t nail it on the head there, yes, I’m looking for more than just sex, I am looking for love. Sex, I can find pretty easily. But I have other needs too, I freely admit that I like being in a relationship, and loving someone who truly loves me back. This is exactly why I asked what I asked. Why do I ask here? Because I know of no other place to ask really, no other forum that I trust, and decided to take a shot.

One thing I do know is that I’ve gotten some of the best advice on sex here that I’ve ever heard. We’ve got a bunch of guys here that know what they’re looking for sexually, are finding it, and have quite a bit of experience in this area. In the past I’ve used this experience in TJ, and found mind blowing rewards.

But I want more.

The swinging idea sounds very interesting, I really haven’t even thought of that, and it’s something I’ll have to look into. But, I’m not just looking for sex, it’s wierd because on one hand I can go without the sex for a while without a problem, but when I find the woman I want to stay with, an extremely active and varied sex life will be of extreme importance, it’s really what ruined my marriage. My ex-wife was a cold fish in bed, to say the least. (A cold fish with a FANTASTIC body!) I could never understand why she wouldn’t let me touch her down there, pleasure her, why she didn’t like me going down on her (which I greatly enjoy!) and why she didn’t like going down on me (which I enjoy even more!!) I found out later she’d been molested as a child, and that’s where the problems came from.
11 years of my life gone (from age 19 to age 30), kind of a bummer, but she was a really great person, just not a woman I can spend the rest of my life with.

Yes, I completely agree with and understand that paying a prostitute for sex really isn’t all that different than paying for dinner at a date, or putting a roof over a woman’s head. But paid sex for the rest of my life isn’t what I’m after. Yes, I do need to be loved, and to love. Someday I want to have kids. I also like safe sex with a partner whose background I know. One of the things that makes me tick, that makes me like myself, is when I can give a woman real pleasure, either sexually, or through love. And that’s something I can’t experience in a paid relationship. I just want more, I want it all, and I will find a way to make it happen. All I want is someone with supermodel looks, someone who will make my heart melt everytime I look at her over a candlelit dinner, but who is also extremely sexually proficient and willing to experiment and learn (I do enjoy the fetish scene, such as clubiniquity.com). She’s must also be extremely intelligent, fit, have a positive attitude, everything. (Formula: Ex-wife 1 + Ex-GF #2 = Perfect! Perfect body, perfect sex, perfect mind). Yeah, I’m picky, and people will tell me that I’ll never find what I’m looking for. But people tell me all the time that I can’t do such and such, and I simply prove them wrong. They say I can’t lose weight and keep it off (83lbs so far). They say I can’t start X and X business, which I did 6 years ago, and it’s extremely successful. They tell me I can’t do this, I can’t do that, and I go do it. Maybe I won’t find the ‘perfect’ woman I’m looking for, but don’t bet against me unless you can afford to lose. I tend to make things happen, and I’m extremely persistant and driven. I figure out what I want, I research the topic extremely extensively, find out what’s required to get to where I want, and then do what’s required with a passion.

I’m not looking for free sex or anything, and I’ve truly enjoyed my experiences with paid sex (and have half a mind to pop off to germany for a couple weeks!), but I always set my goals high, expect the best, give the best I can, and life seems to reward me for my efforts. Now it’s time to see if that’s true here.

Thank you very much for your in-depth response, I will try to assimilate the information into my diabolical plan.

When I once looked for love I never seemed to find it. When I gave up and just had fun it appeared before me without any effort. I will say that your odds may be better if you are available, (not sitting at home and not surrounded by too many people). For example if you wanted to approach a girl and she was with a group of friends it might be more difficult to approach her rather then if she was alone. If you want to find someone on the mental level then the internet might be a possible place to start. I found Adult friendfinder to be all guys looking at women’s ads who were pushing web sites and interested in your traffic and not your company. So take care where you look….

You might also consider going out and doing things where people are that enjoy the same things you enjoy. Here on the board for example you might end up meeting more people (guys) who are into paid sex. Then again you never know who reading. Take a college course, bike riding on the beach, join a club or place an ad…

I’ve heard that Asia is a place where romance is very much part of the sex scene. Guys claim that when you take a girl out of a club she stays with you and provides the girlfriend experience. Which could lead to more but then how can you be sure this is authentic?

I’ve noticed that a huge majority of men that visit TJ are looking for something that they don’t have. In other words a girlfriend, a life, company and acceptance. Personally TJ could never be a substitute for a real relationship. OK so you have other guys that are looking for paid sex. Going to TJ looking for sex everyweek, talking about it every week I see it more as an addiction rather then a replacement.

Women in TJ appear to be selling many men something other then sex. Approval, validation, acceptance and anything other then the rejection they may experience in the US. The truth is that if you pay anyone enough money they’ll pretend to be your friend or accept you. That payment goes even further in TJ then in the US where $1 is like $10 in the US.

I’ve gotten better at Spanish over the years and don’t claim to be fluent but enough to communicate. One thing I notice from many conversations with TJ girls is this is a business and part of it is being an actress. They’re not here to be honest but to make you feel like you are getting something for your money and having you possibly return again. We’re all dollar bills walking around not possible husbands.

Ok so some guys do end up with girls in the Zona as REAL girl friends and some even wives. SO as I said gold is where you find it, which is usally when you least expect it. Just remember as long as money changes hands its still business and nothing else. She needs money for her family, to live what ever the excuse is a lie because when your in a relationship your no longer a customer but a couple.

Looking for love in the wrong places ?

Falling for prostitutes is usually the work of many who cannot control and distinguish between various emotions within our own minds.

When a hooker becomes an object of love rather than sex and than it sometimes becomes dangerous. Dangerous in the sense that there is a loss of control and one becomes a pygmy begging the Giant.

Prostitutes have a keen sense of such a lovey dovey boy and usually exploit him and get as much mileage out as they can. Love crested sex is like a one-way street. Thats why some guys are willing to pay several thousand dollars for sex or blow on stippers who donot even provide proper sex.

There are hookers or women who do hold such magnetic charm and charisma.

Its can be said enough about prostitutes who also want to secure a man through sex. They also fall for paying customers, and they capitalize on sexual holds on a man for their own future. (Which is what normal women do in some cases).

Prostitutes are sometimes lonely because of thier profession or have minimal social ties or are away from home in a strange city where the sex is taking place. I always ask them where they come from ? and how do they like the place ? Nevada bothels are a good example where women come from all over the country to work as prostitues.

We all have those emotions. The means to achieve this sort of emotional relief and that level of higher gratification is not very well documented or written here on this site(as I found out by reading the posts) and perhaps the best education can be had somewhere else in some other place.

I just got back from a trip to Canada to check out the BC scene for the holilday weekend. For the most part I usally ask a few questions during my visit with the working girls. The majority do this because it’s good money and rarely do you find women that do it because they enjoy sex. The ones that really enjoy sex and getting paid are those rare few that make the best providers. The rest are all dam good actresses or ones that don’t even try to act.

I’ve found from personal experience that some of these women have had negative experiences with men. Whether it’s personal experience or what they’ve seen friends or relatives experience the results are the same. They appear to have no faith in intimacy, love or trust in men. Im sure this is not the case with all women just as there are several reasons johns visit providers.

From a personal experience with a provider who ended up being more then business things can change. In fact after being away from the business and building trust with a man this same provider now feels different about being in the business. At one time she was able to put up with the work and pretend and now she feels with her new outlook she no longer can.

For example a girl has a high school sweetheart who she totally confides her love and trust in her boyfriend is let down or deserted. She then changes her view of love, sex and being vulnerable. Sex is no longer part of love but rather a way to make a living. You also have to consider that how much money they make is also sometimes addictive. “All you have to do is put up with something for 30-60 minutes” and you get a nice chunk of money often tax free. You work the hours you want and some even when only when they want.

In Mexico some clubs have recruiters that search cities for women informing them they can work for big money as waitresses in another location. They provide bus fare, accomadations and food to get them to go. The majority of time it’s hundreds to thousands of miles away from where they live. Usually poor or under paid they go only to find that this innocent waitress job is in fact prostitution. Other prostitutes who were in the the same boat often influence them to at least try the profession. Pushing the money, status, benefits and tricks of the trade. Pressure is then applied by the recruiter by informing them that if they don’t do the work (prostitution) that they’ll no longer provide food or accomadations. Now being so far from home, unable to pay for food or a place to stay they often enter the trade.

Who knows how they deal with it or how it affects them? Some (speaking from actual conversations) accept it and do well at it. They become actresses and yes they learn the ropes. Which include making men feel special in hopes that they come back or spend more money. Hey every good salesmen tries to make the customer feel special in hopes of repeat business. The worse women shoot for the one time rip off while the best look for more money and repeat visits.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that there’s NO ONE WAY it is. Everyone is different and although what I’ve said is true for some it may not apply to everyone. Some women might enter the trade because they like sex while some have been molested and hate men. This is not to say the trade is bad or evil as it really does serve both sides.

I can see how some people might label prostitution as evil or bad when you see crack addicts doing anything for money or underaged girls working out of desperation on the streets. This same evil can be said for any slave trade or forced work situation. Then again people do all kinds of things on drugs and booze which has nothing to do with sex. Drunk drivers kill thousands of people yearly and for some reason drinking is still accepted.

Prostitution has been around for hundreds of years, sex between two people does not have to include love. As stated before men don’t always visit for just sex. Sex can also be fun for recreation. Who says sex without love is wrong or not acceptable? Why not? It’s a victimless crime..

What’s the difference between a car salesman lying to a customer to buy a car and a prostitute lying to a customer to make them feel good? Nothing, it’s all business with two willing parties.

If a guy falls in love with a prostitute and it’s the result of the illusion of being accepted or loved then you have to wonder? True you can meet the love of your life anywhere. Sometimes getting the sex out of the way makes it easier for two people to come together. The only thing you have to consider is if it’s a two way street and she feels the same about him.

There’s lots of guys who pay for sex but actually are more interested in the mental exchange or spending time with a woman rather then sex. Being with a woman that is more attractive then they feel they are worthly of makes them feel better.

There’s a wealth of info located on this discussion board that deals with this subject. You’ll have to do some reading and searching to weed out what your looking for. Im not sure if I’ve ever seen any discussion anywhere else in regards to what the previous posts concerns.

What I do know is that to each his own or her own. What is one mans junk is another mans treasure. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and what one person thinks is worth something another thinks is worthless. There are all kinds of reasons women enter this trade and all kinds of reasons men visit. There is no right or wrong or way it is but what works for us on an indiviual basis.

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