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Many of the women who work the bars in Thailand speak a bit of English, some fairly well. Usually, the more English she speaks, the more professional she is. She may have a set routine of questions:

“Where are you from?”
“Do you come Thailand for holiday or work?”
“First time you come Thailand?”
“What hotel you stay?”

She may be genuinely curious, or she may be sizing you up. Like any smart businesswoman, she’s trying to go where the money is. If you give her the impression you have a lot of it, the better your chances with her.

hoi = pussy
jiim = pussy
juub jiim = cunnilingus
juub = kiss
ngian = horny
kuai = cock
hum = cock
dhoot = ass

On my last trip to Thailand I picked up a book at Ma Boo Kan called Thai for Lovers – A Complete Guide to the Romantic Culture of Thailand by Nit and Jack Ajee. It was 299 bhat. It had information on the culture of Thailand and translations written in English and Thai from your basic:

I’m thirsty = hiu naam
To more fun ones such as:
69 is my favorite position = choop taa hok-sip-gaao tii-sut
I came = set leeo

Another interesting book is Making Out in Thai by John Clewley. It was 195 bhat. It had some good phrases also. There is no Thai writing in it so if you don’t get the pronunciation correct you can’t just point at the phrase in the book.

The thing that I have found helpful about learning some basic Thai is that the people are very encouraging. Unlike some other languages in which the people give you a hard time if you don’t pronounce everything exact, etc or make you feel as though you are an idiot for trying, the Thai people that I have met seem to really appreciate the effort you are making and as such they make an extra effort to try and listen and understand better (generally), helping to fill in the holes when they can.

As a rule, you always do better in any country if you can speak even a little bit of the language and Thailand is no exception. You will get along better with the girls, be able to negotiate with vendors better and con artists will be less likely to mess with you (they want a fresh mark, not someone who has been around long enough to know a little Thai).

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