LIVING ROOM SAUNA CLUB
CLOSED
August Thyssen Strasse 4
(one minute from the A57)
41564 Kaarst
Tel 02131-1513242
Website
Overview
Formerly known as Dream Isle, this club was rebuilt and reopened by the folks who brought you Goldentime.
Hours
Mo-Sa 11a – 3a; Su and Holidays 1p – 3a
Prices
Entry: 50 EUR
Includes breakfast buffet from 11a, Grill-buffet from 6p, and pizza buffet from 11p.
Session: 50 EUR first 30 mins., 25 EUR each add’l. 30 mins. FT = 25 EUR
Amenities
Steambath, Sex-Kino, Bar, Sauna, Whirlpool
REPORTS
FIRST LOOK: Living Room
Overview
Brought to you by the same people who started the ill-fated Relax, near Limburg, and then Golden Time (GT) near the Dutch border, the Living Room (LR) is a smaller version of GT. Tucked in an industrial area among several other sex clubs, LR excels by offering everything the other clubs don’t.
It’s clear that they spared no expense to remodel the place, upgrade and revamp to current GT standards. You’ll find the same prices, bar selections, food options, and staff you’re used to at GT, and even some of the working girls.
Facilities
The main thing that sets this place apart from GT is size. It’s smaller, but has several levels and a huge basement, while GT has one level.
The showers are among the best of any club. Other showers force one to keep pressing the button for water. The showers at LR don’t go off until you turn them off yourself. LR also has a semi-private shower area with huge sunflower-style water heads. Robes are also provided for customers, just like at GT, Happy Garden, and Parksauna.
The whirlpool is located in the basement, near the interior sauna and massage area. There is also a Turkish steam bath next to the inside sauna and a Bio sauna outside in the garden terrace.
How it Works
The basic layout is as follows. Enter via two gates and climb a small set of stairs to get to the entry. There you’re issued a robe, towel, and electronic locker key once your 50 Euros are ripped from your trembling fingers.
From the entry way, make two lefts and go down the stairs. At the bottom of the stars, make one more left and go straight back to the locker room.
The electronic key you were given is similar to those used at GT: a plastic band that contains magnetic info that opens one assigned locker. Note the number on the band, as it matches your locker. Press the plastic module attached to the band against the button on the locker to either open or close the lock.
Here’s how: Imagine a locker door with a pop-out knob. You press the module against the knob to force it in and lock the locker. To open the locker, reverse the process: Press against the knob until it clicks and and the locker opens. There’s no key to lose and no lock to pick!
Now that you’ve changed, showered, and locked your locker, wander around. At the bottom of the stairs, straight back, you’ll find a couple of couches, a towel rack and a right turn. Follow that, make the first left turn to find a unisex bathroom (WC).
Next to the WC is the semi-private shower room with the large shower heads. More likely you’ll see women showering here.
Further down the hall are more party rooms. From the towel rack and couches, go straight back to find the inside sauna, steam bath, massage area, whirpool, and yet another toilet. There are also stairs leading up and out to the terrace.
Go back upstairs and walk past the steps. The first door on the left is a WC with two urinals and a sink. To the right is the Kino, a great place to start your session with a gal.
From the entrance, go straight back to the bar. The food, kept in self-serve trays, is directly to the right. It seemed to always be plentiful, although limited. One day was pasta and meatballs and the other was meat and veggies. Fortunately, there is no chow line as there is at GT. There is always enough food to go around and no need to stand in line.
In the evening, around 9 PM, several pans of different types of pizza are served. There is again no line, and you can go back again to get more. The one drawback, at both here and at GT, is that the pizza quickly gets cold and hard, so get it fresh right away if you can.
Left of the entrance is another room with couches. This is where some customers smoke cigars and some women make themselves available.
There is also a patio door with steps down into the garden. The garden consists of multiple levels and a long L-shaped grass area. The Bio sauna sits alone at the back right of the yard.
There is a hallway leading back to rooms as you pass the food on your right and the bar on the left. The other end of the bar is curtained off, with a few coin-operated video games. This is a good area if you want less attention while you eat. Usually, the women stay outside of this area.
The tour finishes with the stairs leading up to more party rooms. Women need to check out keys prior to going to a room, which may help track time in the room and who is doing what.
The Good
LR is clean and well-kept. There is always someone mopping, picking up glasses, and wiping down the bar. Maria, who once was at GT, now works the bar and does a top-notch job. Friendly, quick,
and eager to help, Maria is doubtless the best barmaid in Germany.
Take care when you leave your drink or coffee unattended for even seconds, as the service staff is so efficient that they may take your drink and clean your area before you can say, “What the fuck?”
The Bad
The Dutch are coming, as are regulars from GT. This means more cigar smoking and customer traffic. One main reason why I’ve made this place a regular stop is that it’s so nicely paced. There’s always plenty of room, a place to sit, and friendly women and staff.
Then again, how can a club avoid becoming more popular when it has what the customers want?
Reviews of the Ladies
The talent pool usually consists of women from GT. At most, 10 to 20 women are available, with a few lookers mixed in with the girl-next-door types. I sampled a few and had above average results.
Chanel, from Cuba. This Latin hardbody speaks more Spanish then English or German. Hot-blooded and passionate, she offered a total GFE service.
With no rush or pressure, she got straight to business without excess bullshit. She was friendly, made lots of eye contact, gave very deep FK, and had no barriers or strict rules. I was impressed and rate her as a repeat. She is slim, with a smaller upper body and hard, well-defined legs and rear.
A dancer by trade, this lady really gets into what she does. When we were done, we walked hand in hand to the locker room to take care of finances. Although we spent more than 30 minutes together, she cheerfully accepted 50 Euros, which gave me the impression that the cost was per session and not per 30-minute block.
Then she asked me to join her for a shower, which is rare for a woman to do. She took me to the shower room with the huge shower heads. There, we kissed some more and showered. I have yet to see this level of service at GT or Happy Garden.
Rating (5 stars possible):
Service = *****
Looks/Body = **** (I prefer larger breasts.)
Pony, from Thailand. Fairly attractive, with an above average body. She was tight, firm, and nice to look at, appearing more Fillipina than Thai.
While Chanel always made herself available, sitting either alone or in a place with easy access, Pony stayed near her Thai counterpart. So, she would tag along with this other gal, often taking a seat next to men who were not interested. The result was that I had a harder time in getting to her.
I found that she has this bubbly, sweet nature, but tends to talk too much. (You’ll have to think of something to stick in that mouth to get her to stop.) Service-wise, she was a bit mechanical and lacked passion. While she did allow kissing, she was not comfortable with DFK.
Once the session ended, she started to talk non-stop again. (Alas, my stuffer was not in any condition to stuff, so I had to listen.)
She talks about her childhood in northern Thailand, growing up poor, working long hours for only bags and rice, and dreaming of buying a red moped and leaving poverty behind.
I see the time going over the half-hour mark, but I can’t bring myself to interrupt. At worst, I figure, I’ll be charged another 25 Euros. Then, the “stuffer” revived, we went for another round, and were out of the room within the hour.
She seemed to think I had a fantastic time, and asked for a tip. (There is always a first time for everything). While Chanel deserved a tip, Pony got on my nerves, so just 75 Euros for her.
Rating (5 stars possible):
Service = ***
Looks/Body = ***
Pony is very sweet, friendly, and nice, but her other skills need a little work.
?, from Lebanon. I forget her name, but she is the only gal from Lebanon that I have met in the business.
She has a nice rack; a pretty face; a larger bottom; long blondish-brownish hair; and piercings in her nose, lip, belly button and clit.
She has a sexy way about herself, and will tell you how she loves performing BJs.
So, I had to give it a try. She is sweet, and has wonderful hands with well-manicured, long, french- cut nails. In the room kissing is not deep, but she did say she kissed before I took her to the room. The mistake or difference here is deep french kissing like she is into it and what I got which was barely past the lips, some tongue play etc. Sound affects sounded more rehersed then realistic. Ok so finally we get to the oral skills that she raved about. My experience is that if a woman brags about a skill you can usually bet it is not that good. The best usually never tell you how good they are. Oral wise she was average, nothing deep, nothing in touch with your senses, just basic, average and nothing to write home about. Sex wise it was more like she was going along with things, no passion, no drive, just a soft woman, to hold and mate with. Nothing like Chanel who set a new standard and level of service. Ok grade wise she was a 3 out of 5 service, and a 4 out of 5 looks, I should take away a bit more since she was not really firm either.
I did have another stellar session with a gal who used to work at another club down south and now works at LR. She has been in the business for over 4 years and has made a name for herself. While she was not as passionate as Chanel she was also a 5 out of 5 service. More like a GFE without being totally crazy. More like good hot sex the tenth time, good but not like the first time. I’d do a repeat and looks wise she is also a 4 out of 5. Still looks great, nice body, has the upper body I like but not super firm like Chanel.
OK so that makes four sessions that were all good, half were better then good and above average. Only one that was basic but still I managed to get serviced for only 75 Euros and twice for that. All in all great service and great odds. While GT has more women, there are more that you need to avoid. LR has less but less problem women. Perhaps this is due to it being easier to keep track of 10-20 women then 20-50 women.
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