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What is “SAFE”? The best bet was parking next to CC at the Leyva Hotel. You need to arrive early as the place fills up fast on busy nights. Its a flat rate and the place is all fenced in and well lighted. There is also parking across the street up the alley. I’ve had good luck there but there is no fence, not much lighting and only one guy that watches your wheels. There is also parking one block south and one block east at the Alaska Hotel. Careful walking from that lot to the Zone.

Best parking I feel is at the Leyva. I’ve been staying at Leyva every other weekend for about a year, and have yet to have anything happen to my ride. It is well lit, and the guys do keep an eye on the cars very well. And if you get a room, parking is free. By far the best bet.

The Parking Lot that honors the $1 discount for parking. One (1) day only by the way. Extra days are the regular rate. When you only need to park for the evening usually the best deal MonThu is at the Gateway Hotel next door to the Jack in the Box on the east side of the freeway. Its $4 at times, when its over $6 dollars your best off at 5 Star Parking.

Many Mexican insurance places as you near the border where you can purchase insurance just for the day.

You can also buy cheap Mexican insurance from Good Sams RV Club for about $200 a year for those that drive often.

If you join Vaga Bondos for about $40.00 you can get insurance through Oscar Padilla which has been doing Mexican Insurance for years for right at $100.00 as far as I have been able to find out its the best deal going. I buy it by the year as I always drive in. If your on the toll road to Ensenada your toll ticket serves as your insurance for medical and roadside assistance as well as regular insurance

Bought mine thru local AAA@$6 per day.

You can purchase insurance through travel clubs 800474BAJA 800727BAJA
Both provide excellent support and info for drivers in Baja and Tijuana.

You can buy yearly insurance from San Diego at a place called “Amigos Del Baja”, I paid about $160 for my $20k car.

Try Vaga bundos Del Mar for insurance and driving into Mexico. They have an excellent brochure you can get by calling 800/4742252

Membership dues are $35.00 per year and this allows you purchase Mexican Insurance through Oscar Padilla. They handle the whole thing for you via credit card. They also have a variety of other services. Like attorney services. towing, maps, etc.

Insurance prices vary depending on what you want, but the basic package which is liability only costs $59.00 for $30,000

Mexican Insurance is a MUST. Don’t play games with your investment (your car). Mexican insurance is cheap and really easy to find. Call your insurance agent here in the states and ask about Mexican insurance. You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised to see that they offer it. If you call your agent, they’ll already have your vehicle info, etc. and you won’t have to stop at the border. I personally have full coverage ($50k/$100k Liability, COMP and Collision) on my 1999 Ford. I pay about $220.00 a year for it. I go to TJ 2 or 3 times a week, so full coverage is an investment.

If you’re sure you have not broken any Mexican laws keeping in mind, Mexican laws are different than the U.S. then take it to the limit. But let’s say you ran a yellow/red light or some other small thing. But there are times that a $5 or $20 will pull ya out of a jam

An interesting bit which was discussed sometime ago from the Baja Sun

FEAR # 5: LA MORDIDA (bribes)
MEXICO”, briber and bribee. No one knows which came first, the rich, overbearing American who offered some unsuspecting, innocent Mexican cop $20.00 to forget a legitimate violation, (The Mexican cop was making $10.00 a week at the time), or the despicably corrupt Mexican cop who falsely accused the innocent, humble American of a crime which would undoubtedly cost 20 times the amount, which, if paid to the Mexican cop, could solve the matter on the spot. The correct procedure is to accompany the officer to the police station, and pay the fine. If you feel that you are being treated unfairly request to see the Chief of Police or the Commandante. In any case get receipts for everything, and the names of all involved numbers of the police cars or motorcycle and if you still feel that you have been unjustly treated, call the local Secretary of Tourism, or contact the BAJA SUN. Normally, if it is a “Bribe” situation when you offer to go the police station the game is over. No self respecting Bribe Seeker is going to waste their time taking you to the police station. They would lose too much money between victims and will probably give you a warning and let you go. Nothing is going to happen to you! There is no Mordida unless you pay it!

Medical Exams
Yes some of women in TJ do get medical checks and they are required to show these cards to club management. Street girls are not part of this group. Blood is taken and they do a physical check as well. Many guys think this done for their safety but I got the feeling from girls I personally knew well that it was for them. Some men think that just because they are in Mexico that the women don’t care about their health. The women have to register with the city, have their health cards stamped and signed by the clinica that is a few miles west of the Zona. Mexico is behind in Medical equipment and testing so I highly doubt that the tests are as good as the ones done in the modern USA. You have to also take into consideration that in between these tests a girl can be infected and not know it.

Spanish lessons
Here’s a page with some good freeware and shareware for the Spanish language student: I would just like to add that Spanish is one of the easiest languages to learn. Every effort expended in learning it will pay great dividends in the enjoyment of our hobby.

I’ve been using my Hot! Spanish for Guys and Girls for over a month now, and it’s great! I read a little every night before bed and I’m catching on. The women are very surprised with some of the phrases I throw out.

Madrigals’ Magic Key to Spanish
by Margarita Madrigal
Published by Doubleday
(Illustrations by Andy Warhol)
ISBN 0385410956
First published in 1951, I consider this book the bible for me…very
thorough and easily understood…will take you from rank beginner to eloquent, though that might take a few years…

Spanish For Gringos (Volumes 1 and 2)
William C. Harvey
Published by Barron’s
ISBN 0812097432
This excellent duo is also easily understood and thorough…the Volume 1 can be bought with accompanying audio tapes…

Breaking Out Of Beginner’s Spanish
Joseph J. Keenan
University of Texas Press
ISBN 029274322X
This book is great for understanding and embellishing your “street” Spanish once you’ve got the academic rudiments down…or if you would like to learn both aspects concomitantly although this book does contain some of the more popular “swear” words, it’s mainly about common usage and contains lots of “shortcuts” to fluency.

See It and Say It in Spanish
Margarita Madrigal
Published by Signet
ISBN 0451168372
This great little lightweight pocket book is a good introduction to basic, rudimentary travler’s conversational Spanish. Gets the novice easily into expressing his basic desires although you will have to elaborate a bit for the Zona.
“Quiero copular contigo.” = “I want to copulate with you.” or “Vamonos a copular.”= “Let’s go copulate.”
OK, I had to find the verb “copular” in a Spanish/English dictionary, but the basic sentence structures are easily explained in “See It and Say It…”.

Mexican Spanish
A Rough Guide Phrasebook
Published by Penguin
ISBN 1858281768
The best little shirt pocket sized book around for the topic,…I always carry it into the Zona..

Warning: Learning Spanish may radically alter your perceptions of the Spanishspeaking world, dissolving biases, preconceived notions, cultural misconceptions and other comfortable illusions.

AltaVista uses the Systran Translator. I have a copy of the personal version of this software. I ran a few phrases through it from English to Spanish back to English and then to Spanish again. Judge for yourself the accuracy of the program.

I tried to call you.
Intenté llamarle.
I tried to call to him.
Intenté llamar a él.

Which hotel would you like?
Qué hotel usted tiene gusto?
What hotel you have pleasure?
Qué hotel usted tiene placer?

Would you like to go to a restaurant with me?
Usted tiene gusto de ir a un restaurante con mí?
You have taste to go to a restaurant with me?
Usted tiene gusto a ir a un restaurante con mí?

I would like to have two girls suck on me without condom.
Quisiera hacer que dos muchachas aspiren en mí sin el condom.
It wanted to cause that two girls aspire in me without condom.
Deseó causar que dos muchachas aspiren en mí sin el condom.

Can I fuck you in the ass?
Puedo cogerle en el asno?
I can take to him in the ass?
Puedo llevar él en el asno?

As demonstrated by the last phrase, be very careful about relying on machine translation:

Como estas?=How are you doing?
muy bien= Very good
y tu?= and you?
mucho gusto=With great pleasure
Como te llamas?=What’s your name?
Me llamo Paublo=My name is Paul
Que hora es?=What time is it?
Cuantos años tienes?=How old are you?
Cuantos niños tienes?=How many children do you have?
De donde eres?=Where are you from?
Gracias=Thank you
De nada=You’re welcome
no entiendo=I don’t understand
Hasta luego=See ya later
No se=I don’t know
Lo se=I know
con permiso=excuse me (allow me)
disculpeme=excuse me (I apologize)
Lo siento=I’m sorry
Donde esta el baño?=Where’s the restroom?
Tengo que ir al baño=I have to use to the bathroom
por que?=Why?
A que hora cirras?=What time do you close?
Que es eso?=What’s that?
Puedo hacer reservar para el Sabado?=Can I make a reservation on Saturday?
Como?=What did you say?
Mande=Repeat “Say it again”
buena suerte= Good luck
bueno=Good or great
muchas gracias=Thank you very much
no puedo=I can’t
Quieres una bebida?=Would you like a drink?
Quieres bailar?=Would you like to dance?
Ponte encima=Get on top
Y ahora el perrito=and now doggie style
Ponte de rodillas=On your knees
Cambio de posicion=Change the position
Que rico!=How rich (this is great)
Besame=Kiss me
Que dias trabajas?=What days to you work?
Me gustaria al masaje=I want a massage
Date la vuelta=Turn over
Me gusta la luz prendida=I prefer the light on
Me gustan tus ojos=I like your eyes
Te acuerdas de mi?=Do you remember me?
Tienes hambre?=Are you hungry?
Quieres ir a cenar?=You want to go to dinner?
Quieres ir a almorzar?=You want to go to lunch?
Que paso?=What’s happening?
Cual es tu numero de telefono?=What’s your telephone number?
Cuanto para la linea?=What’s the fare to the border (taxi driver)
Te doy cuarenta=I can give you 40?
Me la pase muy bien contigo=I had a good time with you
Quizas otra dia=Perhaps another day
Cuanto tiempo llevas trabajando aqui?=How long have you worked here?
Me lo escribes por favor?=Please write it for me?
A donde vas?=Where are you going?
He terminado=I’m finished
Ya ordene=I’ve ordered already
Tengo solamente treinta dolares=I only have $30
Me la destapa por favor?=Can you open this bottle please?
Voy a dar una vuelta=I will be back later
No pago mas de cuarenta=I don’t pay more than 40
nunca mas=never again
Que te paso?=What happened to you?
Que es tu posicion favorito?=What’s your favorite position?
Conoces a ella?=Do you know her?
Dame cincuenta centavos=Give me .50 (asking for change)
Donde esta mi cambio?=My change?
Voy a quedar me con las ganas=Too bad it didn’t work out
no conviene=it’s not a good idea
No me estoy fijando el tiempo=I’m not watching the time.
Deja me en paz=Leave me alone
pregunta le=ask them
Que la disfrutes=Do you enjoy it
Vivo en Chula Vista=I live in Chula Vista
lo dudo=I doubt it
Pensaba que te hibas a tu pueblo?=I thought you were going to yout town?
De varias apprendar algo de Espanol=You need to learn some Spanish
Estas segura?=Are you sure?
Si cambias de opinion por favor me avisas=Let me know if you change your mind?
Me puedas dar un beso?=Give me a kiss?
Puedo tomar fotografias?=Can I take pictures?
Quiero lo mejor=I want the best
Esta toda bien?=Is everything OK?
Primero me voy a bañar=I’m going to shower first
Quieres bañarte?=Do you want to shower?
Tengo regalo para ti=I have a gift for you
Como te gusta a ti?=How do you like it?
Te gusta asi?=You like it like this?
Cuando vas para vacciones?=When do you go on vacation?
Ya tomaste la prueva del SIDA?=Have you taken the AIDS test?
Quieres pasar la noche conmigo?=Wanna spend the night with me?
Tu cara es conocida=I’ve seen you before
Voy a pagar la mochada=I’ll pay the bar fine
Me gustaria cinco de a uno=I would like 5 singles(for asking for change for tips)
Me viste la caraslang for, you played me like a fool
codo=(elbow),pointing to elbow, means (you’re cheap)
Tengo sueño=I want to sleep
Nos vemos despues=See you later

What to bring:

Besides the most common equipment such as:
Better condoms, thinner, flavored
Ear plugs, loud music protection
Small flashlight, room and clubs are dark
Lube, flavored, helps reduce condom breakage
Gifts, Blow Pops, Kit Kats, chocolate bars etc.
Breath mints, Certs, Gum, Peppermint Lifesavers.
Spanish/English Dictionary, pocket size
Hot Spanish Pocket size Spanish phrases

Great bribe for the gals, waiters and hotel employees.

Warning: Some only bring a Passport or certified for travel DL, breath mints, and a money belt.

Side Pocket 1: (actual FS supplies)
Watermelon flavored lubricant
6 Kimono red label condoms
3 chocolate flavored condoms (for reluctant BB chicas)
4 Avanti Polyurethane condoms (for dildos and vibrators)
6 antibacteria individual wet towelettes

Side Pocket 2: (Mouth Maintenance)
Travel size antiseptic mouthwash
Travel size toothpaste and tooth brush
Alka Seltzer tablets

Front Pocket:
Small mag flashlight
Kosher chocolate coins (for a post coital sugar rush for chicas and I)
3 pens
A couple of business cards
Sun glasses

Middle Pocket:
small notebook
Spanish English dictionary
Small digital camera with extra battery

Main Pocket:
Body Massage gel (I like the Body and Bathworks brand)
Foot massage gel

In order to guarantee that a newbie has a successful maiden voyage to zona, I believe there are two things that a newbie should posses enough of: the time and money for two sessions. I can’t remember a single detail about the chica I experienced on my first trip to the zona. However, I do recall the overwhelming sensation of walking into Chicago Club and realizing that I was surrounded by a bar full of varying degrees of beautiful women each of whom would satisfy my sexual desires because they want money. Of course, the wide eyed Newbie crumbled under the first chica to invite herself into the booth and request a drink.

Being prepared for Tijuana and security should be a priority.

1. Firstly I ditched my car on the border for $7 per day parking. I wanted no automobile hassles whatsoever ie parking, driving, traffic or insurance inside Mexico.

2. Got a money belt at Kmart before departure and placed 1/3 of the girl budget inside and put on a loose shirt over it. The other 1/3 of money was placed inside my left sneaker wrapped in a small plastic bag and right under the arch of my foot so it won’t be painful to walk freely. Rest of the money went into the wallet. So by dividing the stash I lowered my chances of being totally out of cash to somewhat better statistics.

3. If you don’t have a driver’s license take your passport. That posed an additional security risk. A US passport is worth at least $5000 in any country whose citizens are dying to cross the border. I certainly cannot trust Tijuana Hotels to guarantee its safety for a moment. So its best not to take it with you if you can but I had no choice.

4. I faxed a copy of my Passport to a web based email account which can be viewed anywhere in the world with an Internet connection. If my passport was lost, than I can pull a copy of it at any Internet computer.

This technique is a must for a modern International traveler anywhere in the world and specially to a Whoremonger who often invites strange exotic girls in his hotel room and is subject to losing valuables or documents.

5. I and a friend, kept our belongings to a minimum. We carried with us what we can gladly lose and can easily replace under $25 anywhere.

That means a cellophane bag with couple of T shirts, trousers, disposable shaving kit, condoms and maps. I usually strip my wallet of all credit cards, membership cards or anything valuable that I don’t need outside the US.

6. We stepped out the Bus terminal onto the Revolucion Avenue and ran into this den of noise and barkers shouting at us. However once inside our motel room which was the Playas I secured my passport under various hiding techniques which can be learned from Eden Press books or in any underground literature. I would not mention those techniques here for the very reasons because I do not want to provide free education to future thieves. You certainly do not want to carry any valuables or a Passport to the clubs or any bar anyway. So after hiding things in the room safely we ventured out to the clubs freely.

7. I tipped the Gatekeeper at Adeliats and at Chicago and both those guys took us in and made us comfortable and every time I would go in and out they will greet us. So a little money goes a long way in this business. It certainly helps to make favorable impressions.

8. The key to walking in dangerous places is to be very alert and know what’s behind you. I always walk in the middle of the street with shoulders thrown back and head held high and taking each step deliberately as if I am in no rush at all. I do not engage in eye contact with any elements that I do not wish to interact with period.

9. In Tijuana I found always take a Taxi at night or when alone. Don’t walk to your hotel when you had a good time and when you are feeling great because your life is worth more than $5 on Mexican a street or anywhere for that matter.

Those who still find they are apprehensive about going to Tijuana please follow these techniques and you will repel many problems in general.


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