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Gents, this is the place to be. South Pattaya Beach is to Thailand what Las Vegas is to the United States, except instead of slot machines, it’s outright packed out with more bars and bar girls than you can imagine. Yes, it would seem as if all the girls you will meet in this small town are hookers.

Ask me how many girls, how many bars, how many times you can score with the women and my answer is, “Countless”. I even attempted to do a bar and bar girl count in South Pattaya and failed, due to exhaustion. After counting more than 192 bars, with an average of a good fifteen girls in each bar (that’s a round figure of 3,000 girls), I got a headache and had to quit. I know there are more bars and girls because I never counted the large cluster of bars on Soi 2 and vicinity (I’d guess there are a good 50 bars there, at least). Add to the bar girls another 500 to 1,000 freelancers (i.e., girls not employed by a bar) and you are looking at enough willing ladies to last you a lifetime.

South Pattaya Beach Resort – yes, there is a North Pattaya and a Central Pattaya – is a city within a city. It’s basically a tourist resort with nothing but bars, more bars, and even more bars. Okay, so besides the bars, you also have an endless number of hotels, great restaurants (some fabulous places to eat!), daytime fund spots (such as the zoo and water park) and enough shops and malls to keep you busy for the next three months. In fact, if you bring your wife from the states, she will also be in shopping heaven.

Pattaya has something for everyone. If you don’t like the fairer sex, there are enough gay bars to wet your fancy. For example, if you go to Soi Pattayaland 2, right around the corner you’ll see the sexy Boys Boys Boys bars. You can’t miss it. Actually, I can. Homosexuality is not my cup of tea. I like women. Now for you weirdo’s out there that don’t like either men or women, Pattaya has something for you as well. No, we’re not talking about animals …well, almost. Pattaya is infamous for what the Thais call the “lady-boys”, that is, the transvestites. Yes, we are talking about men who dress up as women, including a few of which have undergone surgery. Well, back to the saner side of sex, the girls. If you are not getting laid in Pattaya every single day, I gather you ran out of money (there are few girls who will fuck you for free out here) or perhaps you decided the life of a celibate is more noteworthy and became a Buddhist monk (monks are forbidden to have any physical contact with women). You could also be one of those guys who are so paranoid of AIDS you think that just by looking at a Thai girl you’ll explode. My sympathies to any of you who fit those categories. Why? Because then you would be missing out on the world’s greatest sex destination, South Pattaya Beach Resort.

South Pattaya is a two-hour bus or taxi ride from Bangkok (depending on traffic). While busing it from Bangkok offers a more affordable means of transport to Pattaya, hiring out a private taxi is the most convenient (and expensive) way to go.
Buses from the airport

IF you arrive at the Bangkok International Airport in the morning or early afternoon, you will be able to take a bus from the airport, directly to Pattaya. After you go through Immigration and Customs, you will find yourself in the BKK lobby on the first floor, where all the banks and info booths are. Walk to your left and there you will find the Thai Airways International, which has a bus service called “Thai Limousine Service”. This services passengers to Pattaya three times/day, 9a.m., 12:00 and 7 p.m. Tickets and reservation in the arrival lounge. Tel 02 535-2801. One way is around $5-$6 (depending on the exchange rate, which varies a lot these days). It drops off passengers in the North part of the city, where there are taxis waiting to take you to your hotel for $1 to $2 (such taxis being notorious for over charging tourists. Altogether, it’s about a three-hour hour trip. Obviously, this is not the fastest nor easiest way to get to Pattaya.


Taking a private air-conditioned taxi (either from Bangkok International airport or your hotel in Bangkok) will run you between 1,000 to 1,500 baht or $22 to $33. The price will vary depending on how greedy the driver is and how much he thinks he can get out of you. Taxi drivers are aggressive in searching out “falongs” (Thai word for Western tourists), so finding a private taxi to go anywhere is rarely a problem. Finding one who will give you a fair price is more difficult, so bargain hard with several drivers before getting the price you wish to pay. To catch a private taxi at the airport, just walk outside the terminal and wave one down. Or go to the outdoor meter taxi booth (right outside the terminal as you exit) and bargain a price with them.

Taxi to the bus stations

An inexpensive, but long routed means of getting from BK to Pattaya is to take the public air-conditioned bus at the Ekamai bus station in Bangkok. There, buses leave every 30 minutes directly to South Pattaya bus terminal (last bus is 9 p.m.). The fare is 90 baht, or about $2. To get to Ekamai bus station, wave down any meter taxi (from the airport or hotel) and just say, “Ekamai”. Make sure the taxi driver turns on the meter when you get in. Transport from BK airport to Ekamai depends highly on the traffic conditions, anywhere from 40 minutes to two hours (during rush hour).

You will find the night-life and adult entertainment in Pattaya runs strong year round. That means you can go there anytime of the year and have a great time. However, there is a huge surge of male tourists who come there during the high season (December through February), making the town quite congested and the availability of women a bit more competitive. Therefore, if you wish to have a larger ratio of girls than guys and avoid the rush of tourists, it’s best to come during the low season (March to October). During this time, the weather will be either extremely hot and dry (March thru June) or semi cool from the rainstorms (June through October). Actually, coming in November (approaching the high season) is a great time to come as the rains have stopped and yet not, so many tourists have yet arrived.


Songkran in Pattaya
The most celebrated holiday in Pattaya is the Water Festival or Songkran, starting April 14th (where the celebration begins up north) and peaking out in Pattaya on the 19th. The festival is indeed a sight to behold as Thais from all over the country go into a frenzy, throwing buckets of water at anyone and everything that moves, round the clock. Legally, one can hose down the Thai police, who on the 19th will be seen walking around drenched in water, with their guns wrapped in plastic. What that means is if you step out of your hotel room anytime during Songkran, you will get drenched in water (many times over) and smeared with talcum powder on your face (often stinging the eyes). Outside hibernating in your hotel room or leaving the country, there is no escaping the frenzy, leaving the adage, “if you can’t beat them, join them”. Put on your swimsuit, buy yourself an oversized water gun (available all over town), and have a blast.

South Pattaya is the most affordable, indeed one of the least expensive tourist destinations in Thailand, if not the entire world. You can stay in very comfortable air-conditioned hotel rooms for as little as $10 a night, eat filet steaks with the works (soup and salad bar, desert) for $5, and screw your brains out for as little as 500 baht or $12, on up. Transportation within the city is extremely cheap (5 baht or about ten cents taxi fare) or even free as most bars, restaurants, hotels, disco’s all nearly walking distance from each other. If money is no object, you can certainly splurge by frequenting the overpriced GoGo bars (bar fine 500 baht or $11) and staying in the higher priced hotels (Royal Garden Plaza at $100 on up per night) while wining and dining with the best ($10 on up at Bruno’s restaurant, opposite Big C shopping mall). What this translates to mean is you can party your brains out in Pattaya for as little as $60 per day (minimum) or splurge spending $150 per day or more. The choice is yours, depending on your budget and lifestyle.

Pattaya is a shopper’s paradise. You can buy just about anything you’ll need in the way of toiletries (i.e., soap, shampoo, deodorant, shaving cream, etc.), clothing (sandals, tennis shoes, dress shoes, socks, pants, t-shirts, suit and tie, etc.), over-the-counter drugs, and so on in Pattaya. You could literally arrive with only the clothes on your back, a fistful of dollars, and within a day have just about everything you need to last you through your trip. Of course, most of you will want to bring your own razor, tooth brush, brush, clothes, etc., rather than have to go shopping the first day of your arrival. With that in mind, I suggest you travel with the bare essentials, and outside any special items (i.e., medication, favorite brand of condoms, etc.), travel as possible. Note: it’s recommended you do bring your own condoms, as many of the American brands (such as extra strength Trojans) may not be available. Also, KY is higher priced in Thailand, so bring your generic brand from the states with you.

You will need to convert your US dollar into Thai baht (pronounced like the English word, “bought”), the local currency. There was an abundance of money exchange booths (open daily, generally 10 p.m. till 9 p.m.) and ATMs (open 24 hours) along Beach road, Walking Street, 2nd road, and along the Soi’s (side streets). There is an exchange booth/ATM right outside the Royal Garden Plaza (beach side) and a Thai Farmer’s bank ATM on the third floor of the Royal Garden, between the Food court and movie theater. The best exchange rates will be at the exchange booths, rather than at your hotel. Note that you will need to take your passport as ID when exchanging TC’s or doing a cash advance on your Visa or Master card; you need not have your ID when changing US dollars into baht, but your US dollar must be in pristine condition (i.e., without any tears or marks whatsoever). Be aware, it is almost impossible to find an exchange booth that is open before 10 a.m. or after 10 p.m., so exchange your money on time.

Once you arrive at the Bangkok airport, you will need to clear immigration and customs. On the plane, the stewardess should hand you a customs and immigration form to fill out. With this in mind, always have a pen handy when you travel. When you exit the plane, just follow the crowd and signs pointing to immigration.

Travel tip: try to walk as fast as possible, ahead of the crowds, to get to immigration ASAP. The lines can get rather long. Last time, I waited almost 45 minutes in line.

At immigration, you will be asked to see your passport, and you fill out an immigration form (you can fill it out while waiting in line. It’s just basic information). When you approach an immigration officer, he will take your passport and stamp it. The stamp will have the date of arrival in Thailand and the date you must depart, 30 days later (unless you have a visa, then you can stay 59 days). From immigration, you walk down the stairs to the luggage department and then on through customs.

Unless you are bringing in things like a TV, full-size computer (laptops are no problem), furniture, odd ball items like plants, illegal drugs (yeah, right!), animals or other weird stuff, you need not declare your goods. Therefore, as you exit, look for the green sign which reads, NOTHING TO DECLARE. That’s where you exit from the airport to paradise.

Once you pass the customs section, you will be in the last section of the airport. Here you will find crowds of people waiting to greet their arriving friends, taxi drivers hustling you for a ride, and people who are so bored with their lives they just like to hang out at airports to see who’s coming into town. As you pass this crowd, on your left side (opposite the street) will be a Money Exchange Booth. Be sure to exchange at least $200 before exiting the airport. You will need to pay for your taxi in Thai baht (the local currency) and probably be asked to pay in Thai baht for the first night stay at your hotel. Yes, you can do a Visa or Master card cash advance at the booth. Ask for 10,000 baht advance (about $250 depending on the exchange rate).

From the airport
Depending on what time you arrive in Bangkok will depend on how you will be able to get to Pattaya. The best way to get to Pattaya from the airport with less hassle is to go up to the “Thai Limousine” taxi company right inside the airport lobby. It is best to make a reservation before you arrive. If no reservation, just go up to the window and book a car and driver. It should cost around 1200-1500 baht. You can also try the airport METER TAXI booth if they have drivers that will go to Pattaya.

From your Bangkok hotel
South Pattaya is a two-hour bus or taxi ride south of Bangkok. The exact length of time it will take to drive there depends on traffic (best to travel before noon or after 7 p.m., when the traffic is not so heavy; weekends are always preferable as the traffic is lighter). Actually, the best time to leave from Bangkok to Pattaya is around 10 in the morning. That way you will be arriving in Pattaya at noon, the perfect time to check into any hotel (noon is check out time in most hotels, so that is your greatest chance of getting a room of your choice).

The best and most expensive way is by private taxi. Some greedy drivers may start you off as high as 1,500 baht. Such was the case for me at the Nana, but I managed to bargain one driver down to 1,000 baht ($25). How? I just told him, “Before I pay only 1,000.” He tried to get me to pay 1,300, but I stood firm with 1,000. Finally, one driver agreed to that price (plus 100 baht for the toll fare, which is worth it). This is a fair price if you are traveling with a friend or two, seeing that you can split the cost. The main advantages of hiring out your own taxi is you can leave anytime you wish. Also, with a private car, the taxi will pick you up and drop you off at the doorsteps of your hotel. With a private taxi, you can make restroom stops on the way, and you can enjoy the comfort of stretching out in a luxurious car. Indeed, the last taxi I wrote in was a Mercedes with full leather seats. You may not be so lucky, so make sure you inspect the car first before committing to the ride. One other point. If you have a lot of expensive luggage, it’s best you take a private cab. If you get on the bus with tons of valuables like a camera, a camcorder, a laptop computer, and so on, it’s best to be in a private taxi.

A comfortable and affordable way to travel to Pattaya is by public air-conditioned bus. Yes, riding the public buses is safe, provided you are not carrying too much expensive luggage. From your hotel, take a meter taxi to the Ekamai bus station on Sukumvit road. It’s about a twenty-minute ride, depending on traffic. (Have the front desk at your hotel write out in Thai the name of the bus station. Then just show that to the taxi driver. They all know where it is.) At the bus station, the first terminal booth will be the Pattaya booth. You can’t miss the big sign. There you buy a ticket (77 baht or $2 as of February 2000) and then walk to the back of the bus terminal where all the buses are parked. The very first parking space for the buses will be the Pattaya bus (the bus may not yet have arrived, but the Pattaya sign is there and clearly visible). The buses leave every 30 minutes, from early morning to 9 p.m. Travel tip: When you purchase a ticket, buy two tickets, one for yourself and the other for yourself. No, I’m not turning schizophrenic on you. It’s just that the seats are a bit cramped and if you buy two tickets, you can hog two seats and stretch out during the long two-hour ride.

Most hotels will do your laundry at a very reasonable price. However, be aware laundry service generally is slow and takes 24 hours or longer, regardless of how much you insist your clothes be clean by early the next day. With that in mind, be sure you have at least another day or two worth of clothes before handing in all your dirty laundry; do not have your laundry down the day before you are leaving town.

The Tourist Police are attached to the Tourism Authority of Thailand office, at 382/1 Pattaya Beach Rd, Tel 42-9371. As anywhere in Thailand, they provide speedy assistance to visitors, and they are there for YOU.
Immigration Office Soi 8 Pattaya Beach Rd, Tel 42-9409
Post Office Soi Post Office, Central Pattaya
Police Station, Pattaya Beach Rd, Tel 42-8223

Whether you are looking for authentic Thai, fast food American (i.e., McDonald’s, KFC, Burger King), German, Italian, French, Mexican, specialty (such as vegetarian), you name it, you’ll find it here. The food is both inexpensive ($1 per plate if you eat at the outdoor food stalls) and tasty. It’s also available round the clock, indeed, the largest chain of outdoor food stalls will be found right on Walking street at – believe it or not – 2 a.m. onward as the hundreds and hundreds of bar girls who get off work late at night crave their favorite Thai dish. Where to eat in Pattaya? For a wide variety of meals (breakfast, lunch or dinner) in a pleasant surrounding (i.e., air-conditioned), go to the Royal Garden Plaza, beach side (about a five-minute walk from Walking Street). In or next to the Royal Garden, you will find McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC, the Pizza Company, Swensen’s Ice Cream, Sizzler, Au Bon Pain, and so on. If you enter the Royal Garden and go to the third floor, you will find the Food Court (open 10 a.m. to 11 p.m.) where you will find a wide selection of inexpensive food stalls serving mostly Thai dishes. Note: Thais generally enjoy spicy food, so to avoid having your mouth on fire, tell the cook or waiter to serve your dish, “Mai pet”, meaning not spicy.

What causes the food to burn your tongue are the tiny red and green peppers which are usually smashed into the dish. Actually, these peppers serve to flavor the dish considerably, so while you stride to avoid the burning sensation, you end up losing much flavor by ordering your food is not spicy. Tip: if you find your mouth burning up from eating a spicy dish, a spoonful of sugar tends to ease the pain. Ice water doesn’t help much. As for sanitation, it’s best you eat at the air-conditioned restaurants rather than with the locals on the streets. Upper scale restaurants: Bruno’s (opposite Big C), serving fine Thai and Western cuisine ($10 per meal on up); Paradise (opposite Royal Garden, 2nd road), serving roast lamb, rabbit, fish, and other delicacies ($5 to $10 per meal); Mama’s (Soi Diamond), serving filet steaks and salad bar ($5 to $7); Five-Star Vegetarian (corner Pattaya Thai/3rd road), serving Thai vegetarian cuisine and usual fresh squeezed drinks ($2 to $5 per meal); New Orleans (Soi Pattayaland 2), serving authentic Cajun dishes ($5 to $10 per meal).

The Winchester Club
The above bar is a nice motorbike ride away from South Pattaya. Once you get there, you will find girls and rooms upstairs. The price is 7-800baht all-inclusive, room and girl and full service. The girls are good at their work; however, there is no mystic about the fact that they are whores. They are; if you cannot handle this, stay away unless you go for the food, which is also good.

South Pattaya offers a wide range of accommodations, from budget fan rooms ($5 per night) to five-star accommodations at its best ($100 up). In choosing your hotel, keep in mind, location plays a key role. You want to be walking distance from Walking Street and the Royal Garden Plaza where most of the bars, disco’s, restaurants, shops and exchange booths are.

White Inn Hotel located on 2nd road, Soi 15, is by far the best deal in town. Telephone from the U.S. just dial 011-66-38-429-841. A no frill’s hotel but has an excellent location, the rooms are clean and spacious, new air-cons in some of them, western style toilets and shower, refrigerator and TV. It has an elevator and its own restaurant. It also has a tour agency inside the lobby to book flights and tours. (no problem bringing in as many girls as you like) It has been Dexter and Horn’s favorite hotel for the past ten years, their home away from home. Price: $10 per night.

Grand Hotel located on the same Soi as the White Inn, also an excellent location. The rooms have a fantastic view of the city and ocean. The price is just a few bucks more. Rooms feature good central air conditioning, a TV with all the cable channels and a refrigerator. Price: $16 per night.

Diamond Beach Hotel is located in a prime location. The address is 373/8 M10 Beach Rd. Pattaya City 20260 Thailand Tel# 428071, 429855, Fax# 424888 Rates: $19 / $55, 152 rooms fitness center, massage, rest, 2 pools, sauna, laundry, near the beach. It’s located on Soi Diamond which is were all the main GoGo bars are. In fact, the hotel also has it’s own V.I.P. massage parlor. Although I didn’t find the rooms anything spectacular, they were decent. And as I said, location is the key here and with the main bars at your door step (and the beach just a three minute walk away) , you could not ask for more.

Apex Hotel
B400 Moo 10, Pattaya 2nd Rd. Pattaya. Tel: 428281 fax: 421184. This hotel has a really nice pool and features a brunch and dinner buffet everyday for a few bucks each. Price: $10 per night.

Flipper Lodge
B560-630 Soi 8 South Beach Rd. Pattaya. Tel: 411655 fax: 426403

Penthouse Hotel
B600-1600 Soi Pattayaland 2. Pattaya. Tel: 429639 fax: 421747

Lek Hotel
B560-640 Soi 13 , 2nd Rd. South Pattaya. Tel: 425550 fax: 426629

Royal Garden Resort
B1900-37000 South Beach Rd. Pattaya. Tel: 412120 fax: 429926,

Palm Garden
B600 2nd Rd. North Pattaya. Tel: 429386 fax: 429188

Mike Hotel
B700 Moo 10, 2nd Rd. South Pattaya. Tel: 422222 fax: 426444

Lido Beach
Hotel B500-800 Moo 10 South Beach Rd. Pattaya. Tel: 422959 fax: 424572

Dynasty Resort in Pattaya

378/3-11 Phra Tamnuk Rd., Moo 12 Pattaya City 20260 Thailand. Tel# (66-38) 250-721 to 23 , Fax# (66-38) 250-772 Rates: $26 to $51. Teakwood-furnished rooms, free transport from Bangkok to Pattaya, restaurant, laundry, satellite TV, swimming pool, Jacuzzi, internet service.

Souvenir shopping in Pattaya is really fun and is one of the main reasons why many tourists all over the world wind up doing their shopping there. While the malls are always the most convenient and comfortable to shop in, the best bargains will be found the further away you get from the air-conditioned malls (Mike’s Department Store, Mike’s Shopping Mall, Royal Garden Plaza, Big C, etc.) and the indoor/open-air shops along Walking street, Beach road, and 2nd road. To get to the real bargain areas (such as the outdoor night bazaar opposite Big C mall), your best bet is to have a Thai (such as your Thai girlfriend) take you there, as they are often more difficult to find. Actually, to get rock bottom prices, you would need to appear as though you were a Thai national, seeing that when a “falong” (Western tourist) approaches any shopping vendor in Pattaya, the price immediately quadruples (due to the Thais philosophy that you, being a rich foreigner, should pay more). Yes, even in Pattaya, the Western tourists pay at least double in price what a local Thai would pay. The only way around this is to master the art of bargaining, which begins with the understanding that any price a Thai vendor quotes you is already inflated tenfold. Knowing that, when a Thai street vendor hands you his handy-dandy calculator (to show you the price of the item), you must gently take the calculator and with a smile, cut the price at least in half, better yet in third. The Thai will then drop his price only slightly, you’re raising yours only slightly. Eventually, both of you will either agree on a price or you will walk away (at which point the Thai will probably call you back accepting your lower price, proving your strongest position in bargaining is when you begin to walk away, hint, hint!). Most shops and malls are open in Pattaya from 10 p.m. till 11 p.m. (late night shops will be found on Walking street).

Popular spots:
Tuesday-Friday Market Open on Tuesdays and Fridays, this “under-the-tent” shopping area has some of the best deals in town. Difficult to find (located off Pattaya Thai, Soi Bucow), so have your Thai girlfriend take you there. Extremely hot and dusty. Mostly low-quality clothing.

“Made in Thailand” On 2nd Road opposite Soi 10. This is an open-air marketplace with a wide selection of shoes, clothing, Thai silk, and odd ball items. Be aware, it gets extremely hot during the heat of the day, proving that shopping in the comfortable air-conditioned malls is often worth the inflated price.

Buying Gold in Thailand is an easy proposition, especially if you have tips like these. There are a few things to remember.
1) Gold in Thailand is 24K for the most part. There is no reason to buy any other gold there, as the purpose of buying gold, there is because of good prices. 24K gold is less expensive than 18K.
2) The “price per weight” “baht-weight” that is, for necklaces and bracelets, is set by the government and written in the newspapers every day.
3) The price of earrings and other non-machine made (hand-made) items are not set in the paper. On these items, you will need to bargain.
4) For example, 6,500B/baht-weight… baht-weight is ˝ ounce
5) The bath-weight price is based on the international price of gold.
6.) “One Saloon” is Ľ baht weight or 1/8 of an ounce.
7) Necklaces and bracelets can be 1 saloon, 2 saloons, etc.

I saw a necklace in the store. I asked the price. I am told that it is 2 baht. On the window, I see that the price of gold is 6,300B. This means 6,300B per baht-weight. The salesman or woman will pull out his/her calculator and punch out 2 x 6,300 = 12,600 baht.
I see a smaller piece as well. It is a small bracelet. The salesman says it is 2 saloons. 2 saloons = 2/4 x 6,300 = 3,150 baht.


As the price per weight for 24K machine-made items (bracelets and necklaces) is government regulated, it does not really matter where you go, EXCEPT some shops will try and add on a workmanship fee. Workmanship fees, or a price that is not set by weight, is fare only for items that are not machine-made (earrings).
In order to buy where the locals buy, avoid tourist areas. Only a very limited amount of English is necessary to buy some gold, so do not worry about being away from a tourist area when shopping. And again, as long as you are buying necklaces and bracelets, it does not really matter.
There are gold shops in markets, shopping centers, street-side, etc. You will find them all over the city. They all get their gold from large factories, so the designs will be the same all over the city.

Most of the tourists and locals make use of the blue taxis or “baht bus” that circle the main vicinity of South Pattaya. The blue taxi is a pickup truck with padded seats in the back which holds about ten passengers. The blue taxi has a particular route: it circles the two main streets, Beach road and 2nd road (which runs parallel with Beach road). The fare (“rakah” in Thai) for a ride anywhere along this path is 5 baht. However, many tourists hand 10, 20, even 50 to 100 note bills to the driver, and then walk off without collecting their change, unaware the price is only 5 baht. To catch any of the 700 blue taxis that circle Pattaya 24 hours a day, just wave at one as it comes at you. Actually, the taxis are always obnoxiously honking their horn at tourists, both those who want a ride and those who wish they would disappear. Once they stop for you (they can stop just about anywhere), climb in the back. When you are ready to get off, there is a buzzer on the ceiling. Ring it, so the driver knows to stop. Or pound on the ceiling and he’ll stop. When you get out, go over to the window in the front (passenger side so you won’t get run over by oncoming traffic) and hand the driver 5 baht. If you don’t have change, keep your hand out to show him you are expecting change. Otherwise, he will hope you don’t know the price and try to get away without giving you any change.

Bastards! Travel tip: The blue taxis have a specific route. If you ask them to diverge from that route, the fare can climb as high as 50 baht. Therefore, if any driver, after you get in the back, asks you, “Where are you going?”, just ignore him. The rule is if you tell him where to go, you are asking for a special ride, and then he is allowed to charge you 40 to 50 baht for the fare. Therefore, when you get in, just let him drive you along the beaten path. If you must go somewhere off the main road, then of course you will have to pay the driver the higher fare because he is diverting from his assigned route. Most drivers will be happy to take you within town for 40 to 50 baht (for example, when going back to Bangkok, you can hire a blue taxi to take you to the Pattaya bus station for 50 bahts. Just wave one down right outside your hotel, tell him where you are going and always, I repeat, always agree on the price first before getting in. On a special fare, you can sit in the front seat if you like. Obviously, if you have a lot of luggage, sit in the back with the luggage).

Motorbike taxis remain the most popular form of transportation in Pattaya, despite their danger. Make no bones about it, many tourists and bar girls have taken some nasty spills, not a few to their graves. Even with the new helmet laws, the motorbike remains a very dangerous means of transportation. For that reason, if you must ride on one, have a Thai motorbike taxi drive you, rather than drive yourself. To find a motorbike driver, look for a cluster of Thais wearing color vests, sleeping next to their motorbikes. If you want to go somewhere special, such as Pattaya Park or Sabailand Massage Parlor, you can hire a motorbike taxi to take you there. The drivers are professional and charge a fair price. Most of the time, a ride within town will cost between 20 and 30 baht.

If you dare, you can rent your own motorbike for dirt cheap, as little as $2.50 a day or higher, depending on the type of bike. You’ll see motorbikes that are for rent parked all along beach road (opposite the ocean) and various side streets. 100cc bikes go for 150 baht per day, a week about 800 baht. We recommend you rent the smaller bikes as they are safer, cheaper, and easier to maneuver through traffic. Plus, it does not come with a basket to carry stuff. WARNING: Traffic laws and rules of the road differ in Thailand than in the states. Be alert!

There are two types of bars in Pattaya:
Outdoor beer bars. Bar fines are usually 200 baht. Expect to pay 1,000 baht for service. The largest selection is on Soi 7 and Soi 8. Try the Mosquito Bar on Soi 8, or the open beer bars along the small side street leading into Happy a Go-Go.

Go-Go bars.
Bar fines are usually 500 baht. Expect to pay 1,500 to 2,000 for service. The largest selection of Go-Go bars is on Pattayaland 2 and Soi Diamond, as well as on Walking Street. Try Doll House a Go-Go on Walking street, or Happy a Go-Go, off Walking Street.

HAPPY HOUR: Happy Hour is a period of time (not necessarily one hour) in which a bar offers drinks specials (usually at 50% off). Both the outdoor beer bars and GoGo bars offer Happy Hour. Try Happy a GoGo (7 to 9 p.m.), Doll House a GoGo (7 to 8:30 p.m.), Peppermint a GoGo (7 to 9 p.m.), and {Dreams a GoGo} (7 to 10 p.m.).

TIPS: When you first walk into a GoGo bar, the dancers on stage are only half of what is available. There are usually two sets of dancers, the first dancing on stage for about 5 songs’ worth, then the next set coming up to replace them. You really need to sit down and wait until the second set comes on stage.

In some GoGo bars, the dancers are replaced one at a time (at one corner, one dancer will get off-stage, at the opposite corner one replaces her). Thus, to get the full scope of all the dancers, you should stay for 20–30 minutes in each bar.

Also, remember that many of the more attractive women get bar fined early in the evening, right when the bar first opens (most GoGo bars get going around 7:30 p.m.). If you arrive late, such as midnight, you may have missed the best selection. To test this, return early the next evening, by 8 p.m. if possible. That is a good way to determine which bar has the best-looking women.

Finally, remember some of the best women get bar fined for several days in a row. So, even if the selection was poor in any given bar, return after a few days. You may see a better selection.

Bangkok Airport to Pattaya Hotel
Thai Limousine service. From BKK airport to Pattaya is 1500 baht, plus 90 baht for the tolls. Travel time is around 2 hours in a comfortable Mercedes.

Skytrain. Take this to Ekamai, walk about 50 feet to the bus station, pay 90 baht and get on an air-conditioned bus. Just as nice as a long cab ride and much cheaper.

Getting Around Town
Outside of walking, there are two basic modes of transportation in Pattaya:

Rent and drive yourself or hire a driver. If you hire a driver and ride on the back, the rate is 20 baht for most local rides.

“Song Tau,” or Blue Taxi. The rate is 5 baht anywhere in South Pattaya.

NOTE: Renting a motorbike is advised for expert drivers only, as accidents are common. You must also wear a helmet or pay a 200+ baht penalty. You will also be responsible if the bike is stolen or damaged in any way. It’s best to either walk or use the Blue Taxis while in Pattaya.

Pattaya Elephant Village 54/1 Moo 2, Tambol Nong Prue, Pattaya City, 20260 Chonburi. Tel: Office: 038-428158, 428645-8 Village: 038-249818 A well-known place for lovers of elephants and nature! The first of its kind and one of the very few places where elephants are kept in their natural environment. Only 10 minutes away and easy to reach by taxi or bus. The Pattaya Elephant Village now offers a package known as “Combination Trekking”, which combines elephant riding, a jungle walk, rafting and an ox cart ride back to the Village. Phone: 428-645.

A Million Year Stone Park & Pattaya Crocodile Farm 22/1 Moo 1, Nongplalai, Banglamung, 22/1 Moo 1, Nongplalai, Banglamung. Tel: +66-38-249347-9. Located on a nearly 7 acres piece of land just a 15-minute drive from Pattaya, this Park & Zoo is a new striking tourist attraction created with more than 20 years of efforts, for all nature lovers. Daily Shows: Crocodile Wrestling at 10.00, 11.00, 13.00, 14.00, 15.30, 17.00. Thai Martial Art 10.45, 13.45 Magical Performance 11.00, 14.00

Sri Racha Tiger Zoo Address: 341 Moo 3, Nongkham, Sri Racha, Chonburi Thailand 20260 Tel: +66-38-296556-8 Starting five years ago, Sri Racha Tiger Zoo became the biggest zoo of its kind in the entire world, providing a home for over 200 of this big and powerful animals. Set up in a beautiful natural atmosphere approximately 30 km outside of Pattaya the zoo is undoubted one of the best day attractions in the Eastern Seaboard.

THE PATTAYA BOWL, just north of Soi 5, Pattaya 2 Road, has twenty bowling lanes (B40 per game) and ten snooker tables (B100 per hour) and opens daily from 10am to 2am.

PATTAYA SHOOTING RANGE First floor of Tiffany Building Pattaya Sports Bazaar, Pattaya 2 Rd Tel 42-9642, 42-1700 to 3 9:00-21:00 daily range fee 120 Baht Single bullet prices .22 cal 3 Bath, .38 cal 9 Baht, .45 cal 12 Baht; 9 mm 14 Baht; target 6 Baht. Shooting, with hand guns and field rifles, is offered at Tiffany’s which has an aircon range with 19 fully equipped galleries.

THE LAKELAND LAGOON WATER SKI PARK is a definite must. This is cable skiing at it’s best. It’s a huge man-made lake with a cable-pulley system that whips you around a lake which is about 4 feet deep. Better be in shape for this one. (daily 10am-9pm; B300 for two hours) on Sukhumvit Road, about 5km north of Pattaya.

K.R. GO-KART GRAND PRIX Co., Ltd. Tel: +66-38-300347-8 Located at Pattaya Thepprasit Road, just a few kilometers from the town’s center, is one of Thailand’s most exciting Go-kart circuit a 1,100-metre, world-class racing track.

GO KART CIRCUIT in Jomtien (daily 10am-6pm; B50-200 for 12min).K.R. GO-KART GRAND PRIX Co., Ltd. Tel: +66-38-300347-8 Located at Pattaya Thepprasit Road, just a few kilometers from the town’s center is one of Thailand’s most exciting Go-kart circuit a 1,100-metre, world-class racing track.

Pattaya Park Beach Resort and Water Park: Featuring a 55-story hotel structure and a water park on the shore near the Jomtien Beach, this facility offers waters slides, whirlpool and swimming for children and adults, as well as a “tower jump” off the top of the tower and gliding down (in about one minute) to the ground 200 meters below. The Tower also features an aerial car (sky shuttle and speed shuttle). A revolving restaurant giving the visitor a panorama view of the Pattaya area and of the Gulf of Thailand is also found at the top of the Tower. Phone: 364-110; fax 251-209.

To get there To get to Pattaya Park, you will need to take a blue taxi or motorbike. Outside your hotel, assuming you stay at the White Inn, walk across the street and either wave down a blue taxi or motorbike taxi. Just tell them you want to go to Pattaya Park, about a ten-minute ride. The fare will be around 50 baht or so. Blue taxis who divert from their designated path are not supposed to charge more than 50 baht for a ride anywhere in town, with as many people as you like. Be sure you agree on the price with the taxi before you get in. Once you arrive at the park, it will cost 100 baht entrance fee per person (as of 2/2000). The fee is for all day.

Numerous dive schools in the Pattaya area offer PADI and other authorized training courses in diving, including their own boats to take students to dive areas and supervise their diving. Courses are taught in English, German, Russian, Japanese, Spanish, Chinese and Thai, depending on the particular dive shop.

GREEN WAY DRIVING RANGE 15/22 Moo 13 Sukhumvit Road, Nongprue, Banglamung Phatthaya, Chonburi 20260 ph.: 232-083 fax: 232-084

PATTAYA GOLF CLUB DRIVING RANGE 3/65 Moo 6 Third Road North Phatthaya, Chonburi 20260 ph.: 01-813-7371, 01-909-2625

PHU LUANG DRIVING RANGE use the direction for Green Valley Phatthaya, Chonburi 20260 ph.: 423-686 ext. 2057

TOMMY DRIVING RANGE 336/1 Moo 12 Thepprasit Rd. Phatthaya, Chonburi 20260 ph. 251-564.

Pattaya Beach is about 4km long and has a Beach Road running parallel to it from north to south. The northern part is the more quiet area while the southern part is on both sides of the street lined up with shops, restaurants, discotheques, bars and nightclubs. We recommend you do not do any swimming at Pattaya Beach due to its pollution.

Jomtien Beach
Activities: windsurfing, water- and jet-skiing and parasailing: you can either book up in the outlets along Pattaya’s Beach Road or head down to Jomtien itself and sign up there – Surf House hotel and restaurant at the north end of Jomtien’s Beach Road rents out water-sports equipment, as do several nearby shops. Average prices start at about B1000 per hour for water-skiing, B200 for windsurfing, and B250 for one round of parasailing. Laser dingies start at about B300 an hour and Hobie Cats at B500 an hour.
Getting there: Jomtien Beach is a small beach resort just a short taxi ride from South Pattaya. To get there from Pattaya, simply walk along 2nd road and wave down any blue taxi. The price is 10 baht. It’s only about a 6-minute ride.

Sex: Jomtien has a very limited number of Go-Go bars (Champion a Go-Go is the best) and outdoor beer bars (located right as you turn towards the beach from 2nd road), both gay and heterosexual. The main advantage of Jomtien is the serenity – there is much less traffic and fewer tourists. Also, the ocean water is clean enough to swim in and if you enjoy bathing in the sun, you’ll find much company in the way of tourists (mostly European) from all over the world.

Naklua Beach is immediately north of the actual Pattaya Beach. It is quieter than Pattaya Beach.

Kohlan Island is 45 minutes by ordinary boat or 15 minutes by speedboat, it is the largest of Pattaya’s offshore islands. A Bor Kor Sor ferry departs for Ko Larn daily from the fishing pier at 9:00 and 11:00; return is at 3:00p.m round trip fare is 40 Baht.
Attractions include: viewing coral reefs from glass-bottom boats, snorkeling, scuba diving, windsurfing, water-skiing and parasailing. Deep-sea fishing is popular in the waters around Ko Larn and the neighboring smaller islands. There are many seafood restaurants on the island’s main beaches. Small boats for 12 persons can be rented for 600-1500 Baht. Big boats for up to 100 persons cost 3,000 Baht.

Warning: Watch out for sea urchins along the shore and shallow water. The sea urchin looks like a black ball with very sharp spikes sticking out. If you step on one, you will not exactly be happy.

Pattaya undoubtedly has the hottest nightlife in the Orient, if not in the entire world. The wide range of GoGo bars (ie., air-conditioned strip clubs and sex shows), open air beer bars (outdoor bars to meet girls), disco’s (pick-up joints), and so on make this small beach town one of the best places in the world to party and get laid. To give you an idea of just how many bars there are out here, I did a “lazy man’s” bar count, meaning I didn’t count them all, and came up with 192 bars, starting from the bars along Walking Street on up to the large cluster of bars on Soi 7 and 8. I never made it to Soi 2 and vicinity, which must have at least another 50 bars, making the grand total well over 250 bars. Average in about 15 girls per bar, and you will be looking at nearly 4,000 horny women, able and willing. Add to that another 500 freelance hookers who hang out either along Beach Road (ocean side), from late afternoon till about midnight, the malls (especially Royal Garden Plaza), and at the disco’s (Tony’s, Marine bar 1 & 2, Hollywood, etc.), and you have the world’s greatest concentration of luscious Asian ladies the world has ever known. As a general rule, most of the bars are open from 8 p.m. and close at 2 a.m. However, this is very general as many bars are open in the afternoon, closing at dawn, while some seem to never close. Note: many bars are simply “open till late” which means the bar will close after the customers stop buying drinks or the police come in and tell the management to call it a night. Tony’s disco gets going around 11 p.m. and is “open till late” (usually between 3 a.m. and 4:30 a.m.), while Marine bar 1 gets going around 2 a.m. and is “open till late” (usually around 4 a.m.). After the Marine bar 1 closes, the crowd then heads over to Marine bar 2 which blasts music till dawn, giving Pattaya the world’s reputation as the town that never sleeps.

Classroom 1 A Go-Go Bar
Classroom 2000 A Go-Go
All Girls A Go-Go
Bubbles A Go-Go
Cats Niteclub A Go
Rodeo Girls A Go-Go
Venus A Go-Go
Spicy Girls a Go-Go
Planet Rock
Pussy Cat GOGO
Pattaya Carousel, a Go-Go
Freelancer Bar
Soi 8 A-Go-Go
Tim Beer Bar & A-Go-Go
Tahitian Queen 1 A-Go-Go
Tahitian Queen 2 A-Go-Go
Baby 3 Mega Club
Super G Show Club

An outdoor beer bar is an open-air bar that features blasting music, a well-stocked bar, and a small to medium cluster of overly friendly girls (i.e., hookers). Most beer bars get going around 8 p.m. and close at 2 a.m. However, many are open during the late afternoon and some never seem to close or close when customers stop buying drinks. The beer bar is the most economical way to drink and pick up girls in town. A coke will run you less than a dollar, and a local beer around $1.50. Lady’s drinks are generally around 90 baht or $2. The bar fine is 200 baht ($5) and the girls expect a minimum of 500 baht for a real quick fuck up to 1,000 baht for a full night of passion. The best time to get to the beer bar, if you want the best selection of women, is around 8 p.m. as most girls begin to make their way in. Beer bars are scattered all over South (and Central) Pattaya, with the greatest cluster on Soi 2, 7, 8, along Beach road (Best Friends bar, bars next door to Marilyn À gogo) and Walking street (Soi Happy a GoGo). The dress in any outdoor beer bar is as casual as it gets, most tourists showing up in shorts and T-shirts. Pattaya most likely has the largest cluster of open beer bars in the Orient, if not the entire world. It’s an amazing town.

The massage parlors in Pattaya, as in Bangkok and elsewhere, are really just high-class whore houses. Yes, you do get a massage, an incredible one at that, but the main function of the parlor is to offer sex in a very comfortable and luxurious setting. The massage parlor is more like a brothel in that it is set up for you to have sex in the parlor itself. Hint, hint, if you have a girlfriend or wife that you brought with you to Thailand, the massage parlor is a good place to enjoy sex without her finding out. Ahh, the Thais. Don’t they think of everything!

Sabailand 102/1 Soi 3 Pattaya 2nd Road Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260 Tel: (038) 429-037, 422-806 Open 1:00 pm – 12 midnight

Sabai Room 78/20 Moo 9 Pattaya 2nd Road Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260 Tel: (038) 429-170

Sabai Dee 435/52 Moo 9 Pattaya 2nd Road Tel: (038) 361-659/60 Sabai Dee

Heaven Entertainment Complex 149/352-61 Moo 9 Sukhumvit Road Pattaya, Chonburi 20260
Tel: (038) 377-170/3

Nansy Body Massage 111/208 Moo 10 South Pattaya Road Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260
Tel: 01-946-4407, 01-945-4850

PP Body Massage 92/26-28 Moo 9 Soi Jirapol, 3rd Road Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260
Tel: (038) 411-111, 424-800, 429-828-9

Susie Massage Soi 4 Beach Road Pattaya City, Chonburi 20150 Tel: (038) 428-916, 429-135, 427-759

V.I.P. Massage located on Soi Diamond, part of the Diamond Beach Hotel. Features the “sandwich massage, where you can pick two girls from the “fishbowl” and have both of them massage you in the tub, on the mattress and on the bed. Then one will give you head and the other will finish you off by mounting you while the other watches. The price will run you about $75 to $100 total.

When you first walk into any of the massage parlors mentioned above, there will be a huge glass plate window. Behind the window will be anywhere from ten to fifty girls, all of which have number tags on their beautiful gowns. The purpose of the number tags is so you can tell the attendant which girl (s) you want to massage you. Yes, you can have a sandwich massage, in which you get two girls at the same time. When you see a girl you like, just tell the attendant, “I like number 24” and he will get on the microphone and call out her number. The girl will then come out from behind the window and accompany you to the room where the massage takes place. Of course, you must pay in advance before the massage takes place. The price varies, but most parlors in Pattaya are very reasonable and charge only 600 baht ($15) or so for an hour and half massage. Unlike the major massage parlors in Bangkok, this price does not include tip money for sex. So if you wish to get a blow job or screw one of the massage parlor girls, you will need to tip her. If you just want a massage and no sex, that is also fine. There is no obligation to have sex with the girl (although she will be disappointed because she will not get her expected high tip). In the room where the massage takes place, there will be a huge bed, a bath tub, and various lights and mirrors to set the mood. The rooms are really quite nice and yes, it’s safe. Indeed, most of the clientele are rich Asian businessmen who come here to relax, if you know what I mean. When you enter the room, the girl will go in with you and then leave. She’s going to get the mattress, probably a few towels, and other toys. When she comes back, she will start the water in the bath tub and probably have you strip down. She will also disrobe and when the tub is filled, climb in the bath tub with you naked. Yee hah! She will then scrub you down. After the bath, she will then accompany you to the large floor space where an inflated mattress will be. You are then to lie down on the mattress and the fun begins. Caution: As you move from the bath tub to the mattress, the floor is tiled and because of the soap suds, extremely slippery. So walk carefully and slowly. On the mattress, the girl will do things you never dreamed of. She will use both her pussy and her breasts to massage your legs, your thighs, your back, your arms …man, if there is a heaven, this is where I want to go. After the “body to body” massage, as the Thais call it, the girl will then dry you off and accompany you to the bed. There you will get another dry massage with either baby oil or powder. After a few minutes, the girl will solicit herself sexually. If you want a blow job and/or hand job, let me tell you, most of these girls know what they hell they are doing. You can also fuck the girl, but be aware 99% of them will absolutely insist you wear a condom (not a bad idea, actually. These girls go through a lot of customers every day). My suggestion is you pass on the fuck and let the girl give you head. Most of these girls have mastered the art of oral sex, let me tell you. As stated, sex is not included in the price of the massage, so you must tip the girl if you wish to have sex. Unfortunately, many of the’ Customers who come here are wealthy Japanese or Taiwanese businessmen who over tip the girls, so they are used to 2,000 or even 3,000 baht tips. I doubt you will want to pay that much, so I strongly suggest you first find out from the girl how much she is expecting before getting too passionate. I would try to bargain the girl down to 500 baht for a blow job or hand job. Most likely, she will want at least 1,000 baht, maybe more.

Marine Bar disco 1 is located on Walking street, right above the new Doll House A GoGo and the large Thai boxing area. The escalator takes you to the second floor, where you then immediately turn left (rather than walk straight, which takes you into a GoGo bar). Inside, the disco blasts a type of “trance” music, perfectly suitable for the wild hookers and male tourists. The disco is air-conditioned and rather dark inside, making the girls look all too often a bit prettier than they actually are (tip: walk the girl you’re thinking of taking near the bar and bathroom area where the lighting is better to check her out). There is no cover charge, but the drinks a bit expensive (100 to 200 baht for a soda or beer). I see no harm in buying one drink and keeping the place in business. It is a great place to pick up on girls, especially between 2 a.m. and 3:30 a.m., when the girls pack it in. Most girls will expect a tip of 500 to 1,000 baht for either a quick fuck or an entire night of passion. After the Marine bar 1 closes, follow the crowd to Marine Bar 2 (at the Marine Plaza hotel) where you can dance till dawn and pick up on Thai hookers who either cannot get enough sex (i.e., they just came back from fucking a customer and now are looking for seconds or even thirds) or cannot get any sex at all (i.e., nobody has yet picked them up), making the price for short time sex a real bargain (most want 500 baht for a quick fuck, but I’ve had a few offers it for as little as half that price. Wow!).

Tony’s Disco
Tony’s is located on Walking street, about a two-minute walk past the Marine bar (heading away from Beach road). Tony’s is a popular spot in Pattaya when it comes to disco dancing, good music and picking up on all the freelancers you can handle. Some beer bar girls go there after their bar has closed, as late at 3 a.m. Tony’s has a live band nightly which blasts your favorite MTV type rock music. (You may wish to wear ear plugs as the band is extremely loud). There is no dress code, but it’s suggested you dress up a bit (tennis shoes, jeans and nice shirt) as it tends to attract a more sophisticated crowd (especially on weekends) than the Marine bar disco. There is no cover charge, but between the pushy waiters, flower salesgirls, Tequila salesgirls, and cigarette salesgirls who never seem to leave you alone, there is no doubt the club’s highest priority is to squeeze you for every dime they can get out of you. Drinks run 95 baht for a soda, 70 baht for a shot of Tequila, and 150 baht on up for beer and mixed drinks. While most of the girls who come to Tony’s are hookers looking for a customer, you do get the occasional non-bar girl who is there just to party (hence, not every girl there will go with you). Most girls will expect a 700 to 1,000 baht tip if you take them to your room, even if it is only for a short time. Tip: once you order your drink, rather than sit static at your table waiting for some babe to look you up, stroll around the entire disco checking out all the women. When one smiles as you pass her by and holds out to click your glass saying, “Choke dee” (cheers!), that’s your cue to make your move.

Planet Rock Disco

THE DISCOS is where you’ll find most of the freelancers that work in Pattaya. These are the girls who charge you a flat rate for sex and there is no bar fine, since they are working on their own. The going rate is about 1,000 Baht for a short time. One of the bad things about some of these discos is that the lighting in them is usually very poor, and you may not know what you’re “really getting” as far as a man or a woman. Always check them out closely by getting them outside in the light before you invest lots of time into them.

During the mid-afternoon to early evenings (noon till 9 p.m.), you can pick up on girls as they hang both inside and outside (beach side, along the outdoor tables) in the Royal Garden Plaza. Go upstairs to the third floor where the food stalls are, grab a coke or some Thai noodles. You’ll see a handful of cuties hanging around looking for customers. How do you know which are the freelancers, and which are regular girls? You can usually tell by how they respond to you. The freelancer hookers will look you right in the eye, smile, and if they see you smile back, wave you over to sit with them to chat. Of course, there won’t be much to chat about since you don’t speak Thai and their English is limited. To get down to business, simply say, “Go short time” or “Go to hotel”. If they nod their head in a quick up and down fashion, that is the Thai way of agreeing. Most of these girls will be happy with 500 baht as a tip for an hour of sex. Be sure you first consult with the girl if she “smokes” if you want a blow job; it’s assumed they all do FS.

From late afternoon till midnight, you will see girls sitting on the cement benches on the beachside of Beach road (from Soi Pattayaland 2 on up to Soi 8). They may be sitting alone or in a small group of girls. All you have to do is walk along the sidewalk and smile at any one of them, and they will smile back and ask you, “where you go”, or “where you’re staying.” Some will be shy, and you will have to come up to them and start the negotiations. Most of them will go short time for 500 baht. Some will stay with you all night, in which you should tip them 700 to 1,000 baht.
Caution: Not to say you cannot meet a sweetheart along the beach road, but many of the lower-class prostitutes (including drug addicts) will be found in this area, rather than in the bars where they are more carefully handpicked. It’s highly recommended you wear a condom and secure your valuables when taking any freelancer from the beachside.

Soi Post Office (the next street up from the Royal Garden Plaza) has a cluster of short time brothels in which the girls specialize in oral sex. One of the most famous is “Nice with Ice” in which the girls will put ice on your dick and in their mouth to give that extra tingling feeling. Rates vary from about 350 baht for a quickie on location to 700-800 if you wish to have the girl come to your room and suck you off there.

South Pattaya and is probably one of the safest places to hang out on this planet. Granted, no place on this earth is crime free and on rare occasion you will hear of incidents, such as tourists getting pick pocketed or on rare occasion, a robbery or murder (you may have heard about the Orchid Inn owner in Angeles City who was robbed and murdered in Pattaya. The suspect (s) are not Thais, but Middle East foreigners). During the past ten years I’ve traveled to Thailand, plus the two years I lived there, I never had any security problem whatsoever and all my friends who live there (many who continue to live there now) will tell you the same. Pattaya is very safe and tourists are well looked after by the Tourist Police.

The age of consent in Thailand is 15 (fifteen), the age in which a Thai passes from childhood to adulthood. At the age of 15, a Thai girl is eligible to obtain a passport and an official ID card in which she no longer carries the title “dek ying” (female child), but “nang sahw” or “miss”, meaning an adult woman. At that age, a Thai can marry and travel internationally on his/her own. The fact that a Thai girl (or boy) has passed from childhood to adulthood at the age of 15 does not mean a foreigner can have sex with him/her without legal repercussion. Indeed, pressure from anti-sex groups who wish to impose their standards of morality on others, has resulted in laws against “falongs” (Western tourists) engaging in sex with prostitutes under the age of 18. Such laws carry more severe penalties if the prostitute is under 15. What this means is if you seek out sex with a prostitute under 18 (or even worse, under 15), you are treading on dangerous grounds. Since the vast majority of bar girls and freelance hookers in Pattaya are 18 and over, the chances of you running into a prostitute under 18 is slim; the chances of running into a prostitute in Pattaya under 15 is on the side of miraculous. With that in mind, it is not an issue one need be too concerned with.

The good news is you don’t have to visit a doctor to get most prescription drugs in Pattaya. Simply walk into any of the pharmacies along 2nd road, Walking street or Beach road and tell the English-speaking pharmacist what you want. If they don’t have it, most likely the next one will. The chain of pharmacies, Boots, will be found on Walking street (right before Soi 14) and in the Royal Garden Plaza, 2nd floor. Being the most professional, they may not sell you prescription drugs without a doctor’s prescription. No doubt, you’re wondering if you can get Viagra and how much it will cost. The answer is 100 mg. runs about $12 and is not available at the pharmacies, but VD Clinics. Try the clinic on Pattaya Tai, opposite side of Thai Farmer’s bank, about half a block before 3rd road. It has a big blue sign, “Have Viagra”.
Drug Center 24 South Pattaya Road 34/32 Open: Daily 24 HRS.
Watson Big C Central Festival Center Pattaya Second Road 78/54-56 Open: Daily 10:30 – 23:30

Many Internet Cafés can be found all over Pattaya, mostly along beach road, 2nd road and Walking street. Most charge 2 baht per minute, with a 10-minute minimum. However, not are all equal in modem speed, some taking minutes just to get online. By far, the fastest and newest computers will be found at the internet café on the 2nd floor of the Royal Garden Plaza (beach side, last store as you exit to Swensen’s Ice Cream parlor). Most internet cafés are open at 10 a.m. and close between 11 p.m. and midnight. If you need to send a fax or make an international call, do not do it at your hotel, as the prices are highly inflated. Rather, go to My Office on Walking street, next door down from Marine Bar disco.

As is typical of the bar girls throughout Thailand (Pattaya being no exception), bar girls are experts at scamming male tourists. The biggest scam occurs when a tourist makes the fatal error of falling in love with a bar girl and ends up supporting her after he has left Thailand. While the tourist continues to send support money from abroad, the bar girl plays like she has quit the bar and has stopped sleeping around with other “falongs” (Western tourists). The falong, thinking only with his dick, falls for her story and keeps sending her money (usually monthly) believing that she remains faithful only to him. The fact is she is not faithful at all, but is still working the bar (or has changed bars so he doesn’t know what she is up to) and continues to fuck other falongs on a regular basis. When the falong returns to Thailand, she once again plays like she is so in love with him, working him for as much money as she can get. Eventually, with a bit of luck and a sense of reality, the falong finally discovers his beloved bar girl is not the faithful princess he’s dreamed of and cuts her off. However, at that point it’s too late because the girl already has another two or three other guys she has seduced from around the world playing into her game, all sending her money at the same time. The moral of the story being, if you are thinking seriously about falling in love and supporting a bar girl, more power to you. But just remember, while you are back home depositing more money into her ATM account, she will be passionately sucking the cock of another falong who has fallen in love and would be in shock to discover he is not the only love of her life. Note: This is true of 99% of the bar girls in Pattaya who have men support them. If you are currently supporting a bar girl, despite your belief “she would never do that because she’s not like the others”, the fact is that is undoubtedly what she is doing. In fact, good chance she is the very girl my friend, or I just banged the other night.

Million-Year Stone Park and Pattaya Crocodile Park
22/1 Moo 1 Nongplalai
Banglamung, Chonburi 20150
Tel 0 3824 9347 9
Bangkok Office
Tel 1. 0 2941 3251 3
Tel 2. 0 2579 5033
Fax 66 2579 4008
Web Site

Sriracha Tiger Zoo
341 Mu 3 Nongkham, Sriracha
Chonburi 20110 Thailand
Tel 1 0 3829 6556 8
Tel 2 0 3829 6571 2
Fax 0 3829 6559

KRGOKart Grand Prix
62/125 Moo 12, Thepprasit Rd. Nongprue, Banglamung, Chonburi 20260.
Tel: 038-300347. Fax: 038-300254.
Prices per 5 minutes of racing: 200 baht normal car, 300 baht for car with modification, 500 baht for super, 1,000 baht for a special car.

Internet Cafes
Ice internet. Across from the Grand Hotel. Has 17-inch monitors and ISDN 128 lines. The price is 2 baht per minute, 100 baht hourly. Open past 2 a.m.

If you go a bit out of the tourist area, such as on South Pattaya Road (near the Day Night Hotel), you can find Internet cafés that charge 1 baht per minute.

Shops are along the side streets off Beach Road and off Walking Street, on Soi 14 and Soi 15.

Pattaya is full of places that do foot massages and oil body massages. With all the walking that you do here, a one-hour foot massage can be great. The cost for this service is around 200B. Most of these places also offer Oil Massage and Thai Traditional Massage, with a cost of around 300B per hour. It can be a get way to relax and just enjoy the day.

One of many Foot, Oil Body and Traditional Massage places in Pattaya, this one located just before walking street on Beach Road was a favorite stop.

Not all the Thai girls in Pattaya are sex workers. Here is a very lovely, intelligent young lady who works at the Foot Massage place that we went to. They offer foot, oil and Thai massage with no extra services. She could easily make far more working at a club or massage parlor in town, but she chooses, not too. She works about 28 days a month for about $200 US. Had the pleasure of having brunch with her one morning and found her to be a very nice, smart girl. It is possible to find quality non-bar girls in Pattaya if you just look around a little.

Bap, 23,
foot massage girl, working in Pattaya on Walking Street the moment I entered the foot and body massage place on Beach Rd., right where Walking Street begins on the left side of the street, facing walking street. The guys on the tour had just arrived and wanted to relax with a foot massage. Brought them to my favorite place in Pattaya. It’s best to go after 12:00 noon, as this is the time when most of the girls show up to work. You can pick the girl you want to either massage your feet or give you a body oil massage. Some of the girls can be taken out for the day, night or a bunch of days. There is a sort of bar fine here which costs 800 baht. Bap gave me my foot massage one-day and went back to get my body oil massage the next day. As she was massaging my naked body, I asked her if she would like to go out. Of course, small talk preceded this request, which is always good to find out certain things like, do you have any kids and how old are you? She passed my tests, and she agreed to come with me after my massage. She was my date for the rest of that day and night. I wound up keeping her for a few days. One of the sweetest girls I ever met there. Never asked for a thing, even money, and paid her 1,000 baht per day. She told her boss she wanted to take her vacation, so I would not have to pay for the bar fine every day. This girl is definitely marriage material. There are many girls like this throughout Pattaya, you just have to look for them and stay out of the bars and MPs.

V.I.P. massage parlor
Soi Diamond next to the Diamond Beach Hotel

The traditional massage parlors have become really popular in Pattaya.(Note: the traditional massage parlors are not sexual in nature). Probably the most popular one is on Beach road, right at the entrance of Walking street (directly across the street from Marilyn a Go-Go). You’ll see the massage girls standing outside the doors calling customers on the street to come on in. They wear blue t-shirts and jeans, mostly. The price is 200 baht for a one-hour full body (i.e., no sex) massage. There are lots of real cute girls working here and if you bring your hotel card with your room number and name on it, you can give it to the girl and good chance she may show up after work. While the girls working, there are no prostitutes, many will be interested in coming to your hotel during slow season (now!) or when they run up too many phone bills (how the girls love their cellular phones!). Be sure you are polite and not too crude when asking one of these types of girls to come visit you.

On 2nd road in South Pattaya, across the street from Bruno’s (up from Soi 1) is the new Pavillion traditional massage parlor. They boost over 250 girls! A must-see while in Pattaya. (Note: the traditional massages are not sexual in nature. However, you can give the masseuse your hotel card at the end of the massage and a good chance she will pay you a visit to your room. Of course, there you can get full service). The price for the one hour, non-sexual massage is 250 baht.

Of course, if you must get laid in the early to mid-afternoon, there is always the massage parlors. While most of us would not think of that as a bar, the fact is you can order drinks and have the girls sit with you and drink before taking a massage. Actually, I would recommend inviting the girl you like over for a drink before doing the massage. That way you get a chance to chat her up, see what she will do (some massage girls provide oral and all perform intercourse).

The massage parlor is also a great way to escape the afternoon heat. Drinks are reasonable priced and many of the larger parlors offer food off a Thai menu as well.

Jomtien Beach
is a small beach resort just a short taxi ride from South Pattaya. To get there from Pattaya, simply walk along 2nd road and wave down any blue taxi. The price is 10 baht. It’s only about a 6-minute ride.
Jomtien has a very limited number of Go-Go bars (Champion a Go-Go is the best) and outdoor beer bars (located right as you turn towards the beach from 2nd road), both gay and heterosexual.
The main advantage of Jomtien is the serenity – there is much less traffic and fewer tourists. Also, the ocean water is clean enough to swim in and if you enjoy bathing in the sun, you’ll find much company in the way of tourists (mostly European) from all over the world.

I went to the Winchester bar a while ago. It’s a bitch to find. I went with a few friends, all of whom have been living here for years on end, and even with them, we had trouble finding the place. So how do you get there then? The best thing is to take the blue taxi from South Pattaya into Jomtien. The fare is 10 baht per person. Once you get to Jomtien Beach, hire out a private motorbike driver to take you to Winchester. The fare should be only 10-20 baht as it will be less than a five-minute ride. Once you know where the place is on your return visit, you can walk it once you get to Jomtien.

I thought the girls there were fairly cute, but not cute enough to bar fine. To each his own…I’m sure some will say the place is great.

Pattaya is way better for daytime action. If I spend a day in Bangkok, it’s because I’m working or meeting someone or buying something. If it’s my own spare time, I get on the first bus to Pattaya.

Besides the two types of bars noted in the introduction…open air beer bars and GoGo bars, please allow me to add another to the list…the ‘what I refer to as’ short time bars. These are bars that often open in the early afternoon and provide rooms on the premises.

The girls do NOT push drinks. the usual protocol is that the girls wait outside. IF a girl offers to go inside with you, it is a pretty sure sign that she is willing to make the trip upstairs for a ‘shower’…a typical euphemism for sex.

It is also good manners if you decide to sit with a girl for a while to get to know her and she is playing with your privates, and you are feeling her up…to buy her a drink. You are a real ‘cheap charlie’ if you enjoy the cheap thrill and then leave her hanging without a trip to ‘heaven’ upstairs.

some favorites of mine are Welkon Inn on Soi 2 and the lineup of shorttime bars on Soi 6.

There are THREE types of bars in Pattaya
the outdoor beer bars
the GoGo bars
Shorttime bars (These include the specialty BJ bars)

Short time bars vary differently from the others in that you do not have to barfine the girl out of the bar… You pay a fee (sometimes referred to as ‘pay room’) to take her upstairs.

These places are very popular with guys who like to be a bit discreet. Ex pats living in Pattaya or Jomtien with their wives or girlfriends and cannot take the girl back to their room, and don’t want to be seen entering a hotel with a girl (Pattaya is a bit of a Peyton Place in that everybody seems not to mind their own business… many old ladies who like to gossip… and many men who have no lives and act like little old ladies)

They are also perfect for the following vacationing guys:
1. Guys dumb enough to bring girlfriends with them.
2. Guys who like less than model looking types and don’t want to be seen taking them into their hotels. I sometimes like a bit of variety and go for a big titter. Often a bit chunky and often older than the GoGo girl types
3. Guys who like an early afternoon shag before the other bars open. Many of the ST bars open at 1pm or so. On some mornings, you can go to the Welkom Inn (on soi 2 I believe) at 11 and get a quickie.

My favorite short time bars are the Welkom Inn on Soi 2…open early, but the better girls won’t show until about 3PM give or take an hour. And the bars of Soi 6 or Soi Yodsak (same place)

Soi Six has a couple of dozen bars, most with their own upstairs rooms. The going rate for any of these places is 200 to 250 for the room and 500 paid directly to the girl.

That means a nice shag for under $20. There is a bit of protocol you should know. The girls usually sit outside. You go and chat one up a bit. IF she goes in with you, it means she will most likely go upstairs. Only one or two bars have girls who will do a ‘bait and switch’. That is where they get you to sit down, order a drink and then go off again. This is very common among outdoor beer bars and very annoying. It is not common with Short Time bars.

In most cases, you do not even have to order a drink if you are in a hurry. Just tell her’ go shower’ or ‘go upstairs’ and point upwards.

If you want a bit of getting to know her before you take the leap, it is a good idea. Some girls have personalities that you know they are going to be dead in bed. If she plays with your toy and lets you feel her up, it is polite to buy her a drink. That way, if you decide NOT to go upstairs, you have at least been decent enough to have given her something for her time and your
Cheap Thrills’/ some guys do not, but they soon become persona non grata on the street. If you play the game and do not pay the piper, you will soon become an unwanted entity.

A $2 lady’s drink is a pretty cheap price to play with a girl’s tits for twenty minutes. Don’t be a really Cheap Charlie and not buy her a drink.

Apex Hotel
Soi 12 and 2nd Road, across the street from Mikes Shopping Mall Buffet Breakfast 85 Baht, dinner 149 Baht

1st Floor, Royal Garden Plaza Japanese-American Steakhouse Phone: 0 3842 5009

Dophin Seafood
Located on a boat, right off the pier in South Pattaya Walk to the end of the pier and there will be Thais waiting to take you across

Big C Mall on 2nd Road Japanese (sushi, steak, fish, etc.) Sushi sampler 120 Baht, steak dinner special w/ soup and salad 140 Baht.

Soi Diamond, S. Pattaya Western-style steaks, salad bar $5 per dish

New Orleans Restaurant
Soi 2, Pattayaland Cajun specialties Pricey: $5 to $10 per dish, weekend brunch buffet $12.50

2nd Road, behind the Mike Shopping mall, on the right about 30 meters Belgian

The Pig and Whistle Restaurant Pub
Soi 7 Traditional English-style pub food Nothing over 300 Baht

Royal Garden Plaza
2nd Road Fast food/inexpensive: McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Chicken Treat, Au Ban Pan, Sizzler,
3rd floor food court, serving authentic Thai cuisine

Ruen Thai Restaurant
2nd Road, between Soi Post Office and Royal Garden Plaza Phone 0 3842 5911 Authentic Thai and Western Food in an open-air atmosphere Classic Thai dancing show during dinnertime

2nd Road (across from Serene Plaza) Italian

A.A. Pattaya Hotel
182/2 M 10 Soi 13 Beach Rd. Tel# 428656, 420894 Fax# 429057 Email:
70 rooms Rates: $17 Average Restaurant. pool, laundry, sea view & near the beach off Beach Road at Soi 13 Pattaya

Apex Hotel
216/1 M10 2nd Rd (opp Soi 11) Tel: 429-233, 428-281, Fax: 421-184 250-300 Baht/night, 109 rooms all with air breakfast & dinner buffet, coffee shop, pool, laundry, cars & bikes for rent.

Baiyoke Pattaya Hotel
557 Pratamnuk Rd. Rooms: 136 900-1200 Baht\night

Cosy Beach Hotel
400 M12 Pratumnak Rd. Tel: 250-800 to 3 Fax: 250-799 Rates: $18 / $77, 300 rooms Mountain View, rest, coffee shop, pool, laundry service. More info here

Diamond Beach Hotel
499 South Pattaya Beach Rd. Tel: 429-885 fax: 424-888 Rates: $19 / $55, 152 rooms fitness center, massage, rest, 2 pools, sauna, laundry, near the beach. More info here

Eastiny Inn
441 Soi 8 Pattaya Beach Rd. Tel: 361-101,Fax: 423-092 Rates: $40, 74 rooms restaurant, 24 hr mart, pool, jacuzzi, laundry, near the beach.

Flamingo Hotel 20/182 Soi 2, South Pattaya Road Tel: +66 38 427161-3 Fax: +66 38 411521
Email: Website: ml
For those looking for a hotel a little away from the noise and late night parties, located about 10 minutes from the beach. All rooms have air-conditioning, mini-bar, telephone, room-safe, en-suite bathroom with hot/cold water and shower, solid teak furnishings, color TV and a refrigerator. From 950 Baht/night.

Flipper House
213/3 Soi 7, Pattaya Beach Rd. Tel: 361-667-71 Fax: 361-672 Nice rooms, 880 Baht/day. Elevator, restaurant, barber shop, massage, tailors. Has a swimming pool on the roof, really nice. 5 min. walk to the beach. More info check here

Flipper Lodge
520/1 Soi 8 Pattaya Beach RoadInternet Reservation Office in Pattaya: Tel:  (66-38) 426-401 -2 , 411-655 – 6 , 410-255 Fax: (66-38) 426-403

Grand Hotel
103/10 Soi 14, South Pattaya Tel: 428-249, 428-286 fax: 429-779 Close to Walking Street, good location, elevators, nice ocean views.

Hard Rock Hotel
429 Moo 9, Pattaya Beach ResortTel: 66-38-428 755; Fax: 66-38-421673 A nice hotel, clean, new, inexpensive. Located close to the beach.

The Haven Hotel
185 Soi 13, Beach Road (038) 710-988; (038) 426-200 Web Site: Email:

Honey Inn Hotel
529/2 Soi 10, Pattaya Beach Resort Low season rooms run $15/night. More info: here

Intown Holiday Hotel
506/159 Soi 10 Pattaya 2nd Rd., South Pattaya 500-600 Baht

Lek Hotel
284/5 Soi 13 Pattaya Road, Pattaya City Internet Reservation Office in Bangkok: Tel: (66-2) 6776240 to 5
Fax: (66-2) 6776246 to 7 Contact person: Jane Has a great breakfast, good location. Rooms 640 Baht/night. More info: here

Natural Beach Hotel
Soi 11 & Beach Rd. Tel: (038)710121-2; Fax: (038)429650 More Info: hm E-mail:

Nova Lodge
Situated between 2nd Rd and Beach Rd. Large Olympic size pool, beautiful landscaped grounds, German restaurant.

Penthouse Hotel
Soi Pattayaland 2 Rooms $17, $37 for the Penthouse Premier. More Info:

Ritz Estate – Serviced Apts on Jomtien Hill
Fax# (66-38) 306-238 Rates: starting at 9000 Baht/month pool, jacuzzi, sea view & near the beach
More Info:

Roof Garden Inn
144/70 Thappraya Rd. Tel.: (66)(0) 3836-4474 Fax: (66)(0) 3836-4475 E-Mail:
More Info:

Royal Palace Hotel
215/2 Moo 9, 2nd Road Tel: +66 38 425565; Fax: +66 38 425658 Good, clean, hotel with 350 rooms, air conditioning, balcony, ensuite toilet and hot shower, telephone, fully stocked mini-bar, laundry service, 24 hr. room service, safe deposit, swimming pool, TV. From 750 Baht/night.

Sunbeam Hotel
Soi 8 Tel: +66 38 427120; Fax: +66 38 424191 More Info: 256 rooms and suites in singles, doubles and family rooms. Hot tub and shower, mini bar, satellite TV, mini bar, laundry service, safe deposit box, 24 hr room service and a swimming pool. From 1400 Baht/per night.

Welkom Inn Hotel
Beach Road, Soi 3 Tel: 66-(0)38-422 589; Fax: 66-(0)38-361 193 E-Mail:
More Info:

I have had no problems staying at the Royal Garden Resort. Very girl friendly. the man by the elevators/stairs takes the girl’s ID card as you go up and calls if she comes down by herself to make sure all is OK with you. I am sure there are others, but I really like this place due to location by my fav bars.

We always stay at the Royal Twins Palace. They are girl-friendly, it is in the center of town and right across from the best mall in town. Rooms are $18-24 US. It is an easy walk to Walking street.

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